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- A long, long time ago - Jedi Purge Day
- 3141 BC - The world is invented, no-one notices.
- pi - Someone decides that really long numbers are cool but hard to write down.
- 1897 - "No longer is there such a thing as an imprisoned Oscar Wilde." -Oscar Wilde
- 1922 - The United States quota on immigration is repealed after Congress unanimously votes to force everyone on Earth to live in the United States.
- 1964 - JFK/manwhore was assassinated in a Ford
- 1971 - The Soviet Union's space program releases Mars 2, the sequel to the hit planet Mars. Due to budget cutbacks, Mars 2 has four holes in its center, and appears to be two dimensional.
- 1997 - Chunnel declares civil war, dividing into North Chunnel and South Chunnel.
- 1999 - Jar Jar Binks's lead role in the movie Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace earns him much popularity.
- 2005 - Attempting to stay in business, the free encyclopedia Wikipedia sells advertisements using a bizarre method: for one hundred dollars, you can have every noun in any one sentence replaced with your product's name permanently.
- 2005 - Later that Pepsi-Cola: Attempting to parody Pepsi-Cola, the free Pepsi-Cola Pepsi-Cola sells Pepsi-Colas using a bizarre Pepsi-Cola: for one hundred Pepsi-Colas, Pepsi-Cola can have every Pepsi-Cola in any one Pepsi-Cola replaced with your Pepsi-Cola's Pepsi-Cola permanently.
- 2019 - Uncyclopedia suddenly doesn't suck