May 6th

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

International Toast Day[edit]

How many of you have had your toast today? Seriously? Yeah… okay, all of you had your toast... so, why not celebrate the ever-so-wonderful toast? And so, on this day it was declared International Toast Day! So, whip out you toasters, and get your butter and jam and enjoy this day! Celebrating May 6th, International Toast Day

Why May 6th?[edit]

Must we tell you everything? Yes? Okay, well...this holiday was created on 5-06-07... Not your normal 1s, 2s, 3s, or those ever-loving 4s... but the awkward 5, 6, and 7... And the creators know that fellow toast lovers go for those numbers (especially if they want their taost to be nice and crispy)

The origin of toast[edit]

A picture of what is believed to be the first pieces of toast emerging from the very first toaster.

All the way back in 1400 BC, a man of the age of about thirteen (the elder of his tribe)name believe to be Free Inch... was sick and tired of eating the same floppy bread covered in eggs, so he ordered his tribal members to create something to make the bread crunchy, and warm before his demise... But sadly, they could only create warm bread.

In 1200 BC, Free Inch's tribe finally created the first toaster. It was earth-powered, and the first time the toast emerged from the toaster the tribe's artisan sketched and colored the wonderful sight... is what we believe had happened.

In 1796 AD was the very first time butter was introduced to the toaster scene. People went wild, it was the biggest thing since harbor tea in the New-ish World!

Square butter did not reach toast until the 1980's.

And in 1835, the French found the original idea of bread, which was bread plus egg... hense Fench Toast Finally, the year of the toast: 1982. This was the year that jelly, jam, marmalade, and all other known toast condiments were spread. And since the toast was first created a total of 756,939,894,944,475,482,774,278,942,758,482,875,287,582,785,728,475,248,686,587,485,728,475,824,798,278,459,847,972,562,417,184,198,471 pieces of toast have been eaten (on record).

A Bit More About Free Inch[edit]

Similar to what Free Inch believed to have eaten.

Free Inch (sounds similar to "French"), was the greatest elder of the Toasted Tribe. He had a total of 14 children with his 6 wives, two were actually unable to bear children... so they were considered to be brother and sister afterwards. Free Inch enjoyed crunchy foods, and he was sick and tired of his bread being soft and floppy. So, he ordered his tribe to create crunchy bread... although he was unable to taste the very first piece of crunchy toast, his great-great-great-great (times ten) grand children were able to taste the first pieces of toast... reviews unknown His name is also a known "cuss word." As heard in the Orbit's commerical "What's the Free Inch, toast?" Never popularized, but the toast companies* are hoping that this will do the trick.

*names cannot be revieled

Free Inch was not exactly known for making his speeches, so in the name of Free Inch, and the toast he never had, we celebrate hime when we give "a toast."

Celebrating Free Inch

How to celebrate Internation Toast Day[edit]

It may be amusing, but live for this day... do not die...
  • Eat toast, make the tribe of Free Inch happy.
  • Make a toast
  • Give toast to any hungry being you see
  • And, listen to a band known for their name in this toasty community, The Toasters play to commemorate Free Inch, with thier amazing ska-ness.
ITDts 002.jpeg
Charlie Brown — A little love.jpg Stop hand nuvola alternate.svg This article needs love Stop hand nuvola alternate.svg
This article is currently in a bad state, but all it needs is a little love.
Please give some love by rewriting it.