Maynooth

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
No Wikipedia.png
Because of their incurable biases, the so-called experts at Wikipedia will probably never have an article about Maynooth. We are sorry they insist on being this lame.

Maynooth is a small town in County Kildare (basically Dublin in all fairness) Ireland with 6000 people and 6000 students during the college terms. It is a harsh unforgiving place and only those with strong survival instincts make it through their early years. The people live in constant fear of Balrog attacks and Dingos often make off with the locals babies. Human sacrifice still often occours and it is a well known fact that the classic film the 'Wicker Man' was based on a particular week spent by one screenwriter in Maynooth. Mothers have often been knnown to eat their young in the midst of a harsh Maynooth Winter as food supplies are often limited and large dragons roam the countryside making road travel difficult. This of course has lead to the age old Mothers threat of "you better eat your greens or will send you off to Maynooth this instan-"

NUI Maynooth[edit]

Its great. If you like hanging out with the mentally retard to paraphrase Oscar Wilde. The inhabitants of the college are slow witted alcohol soaked morons. There are also an annoying few who insist on calling it the May as an abbreviation of Maynooth. These peole are called jibbers. But these helpless souls are so far past help it is not even vaguely humourous. Pray for these individuals who are cursed to be as unthinking as the dead until the day they join them.

Maynoothian War[edit]

Over the years, tempers between the two camps had been flaring and numerous running battles had been fought. It all came to a head last year culminating in the Maynoothian war. In this pitched battle half a billion people were slaughtered. Unfortunately both sides relied upon a system of alliances. The students having backup from students in different universities around the country: NUI Galway, DIT, the Beserker legion of Sligo IT and many more. The villagers had allied themselves to many other small and annoying towns and villages around the Irish countryside such as Enfield (what is this town's purpose?), Moate (why does it take 20 minutes to drive through? It's only one poxy street) and Clogher. What ensued was a battle of epic proportions with enormous casualties on both sides. After months of fighting, Kevin Murphy became an honest broker of peace and a shaky treaty was borne. It was going to be negotiated in Dublin but no one could drive in because traffic was brutal, so it was signed in Offaly instead.