Medal of Honor
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“I use mine as a coaster.”
~ Oscar Wilde on his Medal of Honor
A Medal of Honor is a highly esteemed award given to those who have accomplished heroic deeds unimaginable to the ordinary person.
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The illustrious Medal of Honor.
[edit] Obtaining the Medal of Honor
Known as one of the most difficult honorary medals to obtain, the list for Medal of Honor certification is long and rigorous. Any one of the following deeds will earn you (or anyone else who performs them) an illustrious Medal of Honor, and earn you a spot in history as a God among men. The certification list includes;
- Peeing on a public toilet seat
- Driving while intoxicated
- Burning something
- Shitting on someone's lawn
- Reading a pornographic magazine
- Eating a taco
- Swearing
- Running naked
- Masturbating
- Using your Visa check card
- Playing Mini-Golf and losing
- Killing someone (or something)
- Passing out
- Reading this article
- Watching Seinfeld reruns
- Cowering in the fetal position
- Launching a bottle rocket in someone's general direction
- Smashing things
- Gaining weight
- Losing weight
- Clicking a mouse three times in succession
- Falling down
- Reading a magazine in a store and putting it back
- Calling your own phone number
- Renting a movie, watching it, then taking it back to the store without rewinding it
- Headbanging to a Disney song
- Farting
- Making distracting noises at a shooting range
- Throwing something very far
[edit] People who have obtained the Medal of Honor
The following is the very short list of people who have successfully obtained a Medal of Honor. In alphabetical order;
- Everyone
Yes, the Medal of Honor is indeed a special and exclusive priviledge, and to those select few who have earned them, we salute you.
