Meg Griffin
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“It's not because they say that there are dogs now.”
~ Captain Obvious on Meg
“The Griffins have two dogs now?”
~ Everyone on Meg
“She's the reason why I think men are better”
~ Oscar Wilde on Meg
Meg Griffin is a character from Family Guy. She is considered the 2nd smartest character in the show (behind Brian) and the 23rd most entertaining (behind (in the following order) Chris, Adam West, Lois, Brian, Quagmire, Peter, Stewie, Herbert the Pervert, Greased Up Deaf Guy, Peter's retarded coworker Opie, Cleveland, Joe, Bonnie, Loretta, Cleveland Jr., that one guy that keeps trying to bone his girlfriend, Brian's gay cousin Jasper, the giant squid, Sneakers O'Toole, the kid with the upside down face, Ollie Williams, and Lawrence Welk).
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[edit] Biography
Meg was the unfortunate result of Lois's drunken sexcapades during the late 80's. Lois attempted to abort the unnatural spawn, but the bitch was unable die, due to the fact that her hideous features prevented anyone from coming near her to beat her to death with a bedpan. Another theory suggest that she heard the child had finger nails and couldn't go though with it- there is also something about blueberry flavored condoms. Regardless, Lois convinced Peter that the child was his, despite her tail, which was amputated, then sold to and eaten at some shitty Chinese restaurant shortly after birth.
Having had a fairly happy childhood due to the very high amount of dope she was taking at the time, Meg grew into a overweight teenager but creepily still hot. However, at the age of 14 she was raped by the chicken that peter hates in a revenge rape and rapidly declined in appearance thereafter due to the creepy chicken STD's she got from him.
Meg became a sarcastic teenager and joined youtube.com, where she posts all of her angst emo blogs, which nobody watches because nobody cares. In fact, this biography of her is pointless because nobody cares enough to look her up. However, it WILL continue pointlessly, just like her existence...
[edit] Personality
Meg is a teenager who doesn't whine and complain, but she tries to rape every man she sees and has been successful on countless occasions being one of the poor souls to be raped why else would he hate America so much, thinking that they want her for her god awful body. She has great passion for Elijah Wood and a gay guy after they claim to god that they wont have sex until married. (wait he wasn't gay until he saw her.) Unfortunately, it does not seem to be going so well, as her almost terrifying face seems to destroy all in its path.
[edit] Likability
In the first season or two, Meg was very well loved and respected by her parents. But more recently, she has been treated like crap and has even been thrown in to the trash compactor on the detention level where she devolved in to George Lucas. Peter and Lois dislike her greatly, the show never admitted why this is, though it is now known to be all George Bush’s fault.
However, we will solve this problem.
[edit] Filmography
[edit] 1960s
- Meg Vs. Deadwood Sex (1961) - herself
- The Good, The Bad, and the Swansea (1968) - Lady MacHarris (uncredited)
[edit] 1970s
- Tentacles - Lady President
[edit] 1980s
- Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (1983) - The rancor
- Howard the Duck (1986) - Denise
[edit] 1990s
- Brantford (1995) - Paula Doutchbog
- Dirty Habits (1996) - You
- Hercules (1997) - Megara (LOLWUT?)
[edit] 2000s
- Family Gay (2000-) - herself
- High School Musical (2005.5) - Gabriela, that girl that was forced to date that gay dude
- The Fox and the Hound (also known as "The Socks and the Pound") (2006) - Vixie (whoops, don't you mean, "Sexy"? Seriously, that is one SMOKIN' hot fox)
- The Citizen Kane of All Horrible Films (also known as "Abomination") (2009.242) - Kenny McCormick
- W (2009) - Condoleezza Rice
- Shark Movie (2009) - Sexy S. Shark
- Kinky (2009) - Trio
[edit] Trivia
- Meg has never known her birthday due to Peter not wanting to buy her any presents as all she wants is extensive plastic surgery And because of this, she has never been able to celebrate it.
- Meg is hot. Saying Meg sucks is an overused joke! PLEASE BE FUNNY FOR FUCK SAKE!