Megas XLR

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This article contains material related to Japanese animation and was done by an Otaku. Don't be scared by the huge eyes and enormous tits.

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Megas XLR (勇者王ガオガイガー, Megadasu gōgai ōkī Robotto) is an epic tale, detailing the exploits of famous talking manatee Coop, his man servant Jamie, and well-known Terran Ghost wannabe Kiva Onderu. They also have a majorly pimped out Gundam/Evangelion hybrid, dubbed Megas. The series of documentaries centers around their battle against the Glorft, a group of Cthulhu worshiping cyborg Republicans. Throughout the course of the series, the trio encounter many a foe including Bruce Campbell's head, a robotic Mr. T, a cheap Megatron ripoff, and the inevitable evil twins from some Star Trek Mirror Dimension. The historical series was cancelled due to the protests of Jay and Silent Bob, famous New Jersey citizens, who were upset that their part in the events were not recorded. Also its awesomeness was too much to contain in one show, we're informed people had seizures from such raw awesomeness that the show became a health risk, especially to those with damaged funny bones.


Born of a time paradox created by the actions of Killer lolis, Megas was programmed to do many things. Among these were kill the Decepticons, prevent the existence of Nuck Chorris, put the lime in the coconut, follow the Prime Directive, blow up the Death Star, kill you, and save the Earth. Megas has a strange control scheme that seems to change frequently (in other words, the creators made up shit as they went). Megas is a hateful machine, always changing it's buttons so that the pilot cannot hope to be productive.

On rare occasions, Megas has been known to produce a "useful button" that, when pushed, would solve all the problems currently faced by the pilot. Unfortunately, said "useful button" is almost never pushed, and by the time that the "useful button" would be the only option left, it is usually gone, never to be seen again.

Main Characters[edit]

Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann

Tengen toppa gurren lagann

Megas XLR's evil prototype. The two fought and nearly broke the universe before The King of Braves had to fix shit up.


Coop busts out his ultimate weapon: the Jammer!

The result of a strange medical experiment with the attempt to replace the brain of a manatee with a man from New Jersey. The experiment was a success, but deemed an abomination against God, and thus Coop was released, and left to die. Little did they know that Coop would evolve at an alarming rate. He soon grew legs and primitive hands, which were used mostly to hold cheese steaks, and play video games (very mentally stimulating to a super-manatee). Due to side effects, Coop developed a hatred towards the DMV, where the manatee brain was purchased for the experiment. Coop can be found destroying the DMV when given a giant robot.


Jamie, apparently

Best estimates say that Jamie is roughly 9453 years old, his life having been extended by mastering the art of kitten huffing. However, he soon had to resort to male prostitution to support his habit. This did not end well (in particular, after an encounter with Jack Thompson) However, after stumbling upon Megas along with Coop, he began a new life with a lot less whoring and a lot more explosions.

Kiva Onderu

Kiva Onderu

Born in 3012, Kiva is unknowingly the great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandniece of the one and only Chuck Norris. This has been proven through her great hand-to-hand combat skill. Using the Delorean 3012 to return to the past, she planned to recover Megas, and take it back to the future. Things have not gone well...

Goat Professional hobo, lazy mechanic, and PhD. Goat was thrown into a dumpster at the age of 6, and left to fend for himself against the herds ravenous kittens of New Jersey. He spent his mid-twenties as a roadie for Metallica, U2, Phil Collins, AC/DC, and The Darkest of The Hillside Thickets, all at the same time. Goat's claim to fame is that he once casterated a 12 year old boy in a K-Mart parking lot with a broken Coke bottle, then took him into the woods and disemboweled him with a wooden cooking spoon.

Gorrath The commander of the Glorft, and high priest of the Cthulhu cult, Gorrath spent much of his youth in a basement playing G&G, the Glorft form of D&D. This caused his pathetic little alien mind to be warped, and made him want to kill humans, puppies, kittens, your mom, and in fact all life in the galaxy. He claims to be pursuing Megas, and it's current owners, for the war against humans...but he really just wants to be a dick. Gorrath enjoys long walks on raging battlefields, and bathing in the blood of his enemies.

Ultra Cadets Nameless girls, that they are the retard version of Sailor Moon!

The Glorft[edit]

According to the Hobo's Guide to the Universe, the Glorft are a race of cyborgs, usually politically conservative, who's faces have been melded with that of squids. The Glorft seem to have odd obsessions, which include roleplaying games, shiny objects, robots, calculator watches, soft rock, cell phone plans, and Harry Potter novels (which have been translated into Glorftanese).


His character is actually based on Butch Hartman, the creator of The Fairly Oddparents. He ran the Galaxy's largest Robot Cockfight Arena. He is also a registered sexual predator in various parts of the galaxy, which may also be based off of Butch Hartman.


A cheap Megatron rip-off. He wants to kill Coop.