The mental hospital (a.k.a. Walt Disney World) is simply known as the Tragic Kingdom to people begin to show signs of puberty. People want to go to Walt Disney World (a.k.a. mental hospitals for juveniles) and don't know why. When your grandmother gets a $500/month cut in her pension check and doubts her ability to afford a Florida trip, you throw a fit and pray to God that you can beat Mark Martin in a NASCAR game. Customers of the Walt Disney World mental hospital are called patients because they have to wait 30 minutes to get on the Magic Tea Cup Ride. Kyle Petty's father is a shrink who tries to remind adults that they're adults by offering the only ride in the Walt Disney World nut house that can kill them - a real NASCAR race track with Juan Pablo Montoya as a driver of the #123 Dora the Explorer Honda Civic.
Food is expensive in the Tragic Kingdom because Goofy grows all the produce and Donald Duck does all the packaging. However, the mentally insane (people who pay for their tickets 6 weeks ahead of time through the Internet) find that the ultra gentle rides are FREE. You can sell your kidney, you can sell bracelets at the local flea market, and you can sleep with strange girls to make enough money to go. What you find out is that the rides don't cost a single dollar or token to ride on. 90% of the rides are gentle enough to discuss politics on the ride (although the little kids might start scratching their heads, so it might not be a good idea) while the others are death defying rides that flirt with the idea of playing Final Fantasy VI in Hell. At least in Final Fantasy VI, the teens will enjoy the action.
There are many degrees of insanity when it comes to living out a Walt Disney World vacation. There is No Insanity (people who desire never to go to Walt Disney World), Mild Insanity (people who are curious about Walt Disney World), Regular Insanity (people who are currently planning to go to Walt Disney World), Moderate Insanity (people who have already went to Walt Disney World and don't want to go back), Severe Insanity (people who have already went to Walt Disney World and want to go back), Extreme Insanity (only possible if you work for Walt Disney World or any of its companies that it owns), and Episodic Insanity (people who believe they have already been to Disney World, and have reoccurring nightmares about it).
Note: If you ever go to Sea World or one of those so-called "independent" theme parks (i.e., not owned by either Universal Studios or the Walt Disney Company), don't expect to get a good meal like you do where at Walt Disney World. They expect you to eat outdoors where you have to hide your Diet Pepsi from the bees and sewer rat vermin that exist.
The Banned from Walt Disney World List
- Ozzy Osbourne
- Bart Simpson
- Chuck Norris
- any performer from Medieval Times Dinner and Tournament
- Tarot cards
- any and all practitioners of Wicca
The Bad Guys in Walt Disney World
- Luke Skywalker
- Darth Vader
- Homer Simpson
- Juan Pablo Montoya
- Hillary Clinton
- Barack Obama
- that Paki that always runs the shuttle from the Orlando airport (I told you to get out the way of his bus when he's on the road - good thing we've got out-of-country insurance)
- Niglets pretending to be pirates or princesses when they were all white in the history books that they read in school