Meow Mix

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“Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow”

~ Oscar Wilde on Eating Meow Mix

“I want chicken, i want liver, meow mix meow mix please deliver”

~ DR. Evil on meow mix

Meow Mix is a highly explosive chemical that made out of Grue organs, baking soda, bathroom detergent, human hair, fermented goat milk, titanium, vodka, snake oil and scraps of metal from Soviettanks. If your cat eats it, he will grow wings and kill you local police chief, guaranteed. If you eat it, you will turn into a grue.


The Soviet government developed Meow Mix over 237 years as a super weapon. Five hundred times more awesome than the Nucular bomb, Meow Mix not only created explosions the size of California it also turned anyone within a fifty mile radius to turn into this guy.

Meow meow meow! Meow Mix has lots of side effects


-Miao Meow meow Meow.
Nikita Khrushchev after consuming Meow Mix

The first premier of the Soviet Union was a chronic Kitten Huffer who was unhappy with his kittens. He asked that his kittens be better fed so that huffing would be better. The recruited scientists and bartenders from Greenland to perfect the formula. The missing ingredient was vodka. When they perfected it, it caused twelve cats to gain heat vision. Seriously, Meow Mix was the single greatest invention of the week, and was featured in Time magazine.

Meow Mix slowly became the number one food of supermodels world wide and the NBA. Supermodels found it caused them to lose weight. This was actually because the Meow Mix ate them from the inside. Meow Mix is also the main ingreedient in public school lunch meat loaf.

Later on, Meow Mix was used to develop an army of super-kittens. This backfired, and the kittens, ld by Nikita Khrushchevrevolted and they became the government of the Soviet Union until it conquered the USA.

Meow Mix is now available in the united states because the Soviets have put it there to cause the cats to become superpowered and overthrow the American capitalist scum. It now also contains brain washing material that will cause the cats to become Soviet-loyal! You Americans wot know what hit you. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.


Purina ingredients:

  • air
  • water
  • soup
  • skin
  • blood
  • babies
  • anything and everything to do with Oscar Wilde
  • shoes
  • nazis
  • cats
  • other Meow Mix
  • Doctor Who
  • Dogs
  • puppies
  • labradors
  • music
  • Ron Paul
  • happiness
  • sand
  • Mad Cow Disease
  • lard
  • faeces
  • sadness
  • light
  • poodles
  • cocaine
  • hallucinogens
  • pie
  • your mother
  • raw sewage
  • gayness
  • disease
  • hippies
  • various jewish people
  • raisins
  • ...anything else except for vodka. If you touch Meow Mix, make sure you are blasted out of your mind from vodka. This will neutralizeMeow Mix. In fact, Meow Mix only forms compounds with Vodka. Meow Mix mixed with Vodka gets you drunk.
  • Ronald McDonald
  • Chocolate Milk