MetaFilter

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MetaFilter is a useless area of compost blog that provides users a public forum to boast about how long it's been since they have owned a automobile. For the average user, the concept of Automobile ownership is so foreign that if they happen across a working automobile they are compelled to stare at it, head cocked to the side like a confused puppy, wondering how all those little people got stuffed into that tiny box. Metafilter was founded in 995 by Quonsar the Dipshiterous, and to this day he rules over Metafilter with his winky stink and a large jar of Miracle Whip.

Membership Requirements[edit]

Metafilter has now progressed into a forum which allows new members who don't belong to the uber-intellectual anarchy to join in at any time via eBay where they auction off 5 memberships on the 3rd day of every month. Generally speaking, the memberships tend to sell at an average of 1903.59 Euros each. It is for this reason that several senior members were forced to discontinue the practice of banning new users from joining the confines of their pseudo-fratlike Orwellian inspired hierarchy.

Controversy[edit]

While the links still remain on the site, the primary focus in recent times has been to stop bickering about whether a link belongs on the front page in the first place and now promotes religious and political pile-ons that never stop. In recent times, the overwhelming level of anger and bitterness has been completely obliterated and re-directed to the Uncyclopedia.

Growth and Expansion[edit]

Everyone is so fucking thrilled that Metafilter has also spawned several sister sites, such as MetaTalk, which is a forum dedicated to intimate, homo-erotic discussions of Furbies. AskMeta is another site in the Metafutile family; it mostly revolves around the eternal question: "How can I make my Furby make love to me?" The question was censored by the CIA and the RIAA pending a law suit against Mr. Malodorous. Another spin-off has been the multiple awarded, highly quoted Monkeyfilter, where any simian capable of choosing a handle and password can post their latest bonobo orgy Flickr streams, links about brutalist poetry, cockpunch recipes, anonymous hookup pleas, podology treatises, Parkour training schedules, and random zoophillic trivia. Monkeybashi, the creator and ruler of that realm, with the aid of a few hammer-wielding goons, keeps a tight grip on this vital, throbbing, pulsating member of the Meta- family.

Political Stance[edit]

A reliable way to discredit MF is to post a news story, with either of the following two comments:

  • a) "this clearly proves that George Bush might actually be descended from apes and the Democraps are God's gift to social security";
  • b) "this clearly shows that the iron-fisted left is made up of irrelevant Sponge-Bob gay pants who can't face facts and are basically treasonous." Hundreds of comments follow while posts about the lack of Flash art web sites in silicon valley are lamented and deplored.

Blacklist[edit]

As of March 2005, membership in Metafilter is banned to faculty members at accredited Ivory League universities, members of the U. S. Congress and the European Union parliament, and 5th-order or above Freemasons (although frequent exceptions have been made), but to all those who actually enjoy ingesting their 30% US RDA of intellectual cardboard, feel free to join at your earliest convenience!

See Also[edit]