Mexicola

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Note the pee-like color of Corona.

The tough older brother of the old fashioned Coca(ine) Cola, Mexicola was a secret concoction thought of during the heat of the battle for the Alamo in Texas. American soldiers took some of the last beer left in the basements of the fort and began the simple process of reverse double thermonuclear osmosis to remove the flavor and everything about it that made beer fun. Then, they formed a bucket brigade of sorts, where the tweaked formula was passed down a line of about a dozen soldiers who each took a leak into the barrel, after which it was left to ferment in the basement for 4 days. When fermenting was complete, samples were sent by runners out of the fort directly to the under construction after being crapped on by the British, White house. Of course, as the Alamo was imploding in on itself from the internal pressures caused by a dog pile of tens of thousands of Mexicans, the original Mexicola was lost. However, years later, the new fangled White House was able to create a synthetic version of the poison. They codenamed it, Corona. (Pronounced "Coe-Row-Nuh" )

Its Effects[edit]

Now that the United States government had such power, they needed someone to test it on; but who?

Well, when Mexico and Spain continued their job of making nuisances of themselves further, it was unanimously voted that Mexico would be the first victim.

Mexicola began being imported immediately, disguised as a central American refreshment.

The Result?[edit]

Mexico crumbled and fell to its knees, and gained the status as the hairiest mole on the face of the new Zionist controlled Earth; with only one exception, those lying traitors in evil Uzbekistan that keep trying to make sexy time of rear with angel patrons of glorious nation Kazakhstan.

Legacy[edit]

In recent years, a beer took up Mexicola's early codename, Corona. Corona stands as a proud beer, by carrying on the traditions and methods used in making Mexicola. However, reverse double negative osmosis is used in removing flavor instead of thermonuclear, so that side effects exclude death, and at worst pertain to mild nausea and the loss of cognitive abilities useful in judging ugly and sexy, man and woman, and the difference between drunk and NIIHHHNNEEE CORONUHHSS drunk.

Taking of Mexicola, even for recreational purposes is strongly unadvised, seeing as how 2 shots could kill you and a few kegs can derail a small nation. (Edit: It really is advised, we all agreed yesterday, no one likes you). But if you must, have 8 Coronas, not 9. Never, 9, Coronas.