Mic Todd

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Geddy Lee vomitting up a microphone and stand, while simultaneously wailing on his sword disguised as a bass.

Geddy Lee (Born June 66, 2112 A.D.), also known as "Needs-Testicles-Man". He is also currently the bass player and vocalist for Rush (they had nothing to do after the battle of 2112 B.C. so they formed a rock band). During the battle of 2112 B.C., Geddy teamed up with bandmates Alex Lifeson, the backup swordsman and fanfare player, and Neil Peart, the group's flag hoister, and became their best swordsman. He is credited with killing Mohammed, O RLY, and Oscar Wilde (though this can neither be confirmed nor denied) when he lured him to sleep with his Barry White impression, then killed him with three pink flaming balls, two of which were his own, explaining his castrati voice. When he is not landing gigs, huffing kittens or practicing Atheism, Geddy teaches at the Academy of the Flaming Arts, where he teaches his pupils the techniques he used to kill Mohammed and other people, as well as other cool techniques with swords, fire, ice, and applesauce.

For some reason, when he formed a rock band with Alex Lifeson and Neil Peart, they decided to make Geddy the vocalist. Geddy, who sounds like a cancerous baboon whos nuts were sent through in a meat grinder, is the only reason that Rush hasn't gotten past the stage of landing gigs at elementary school dances such as Wembley Stadium.

Contrary to popular belief, not Geddy is not gay, though not many people are hungry, or not deceived not by his high-pitched voice. He actually had been going out and having one night stands; he even had more one night stands in a year than I've had in my entire life (he ended up marrying the first and only girl he banged, and she bore him 324 children that year, and no sooner did the 324 children come than he fought in the battle of 2112 and castrated himself). Geddy Lee is going bald.

Lee's sexuality has always been a question of debate in the rock community. In a 2008 Rolling Stone Magazine interview, Lee reportedly admitted to being bisexual. "I can't believe nobody's figured it out all of these years," Lee said. "My singing style is obvious evidence that I don't like women as much as I should."

Trivia[edit]

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  • Geddy Lee is currently workin' angels overtime in a sweatshop in China.

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!!

  • Geddy Lee has dined on honeydew.
  • Geddy Lee has a dog named Fender
  • Geddy Lee is the result of Toucan-Airhorn crossbreeding
  • Geddy Lee plagiarized the radio with musical airwaves, which in fact DID NOT crackle with life, but rather with choice.
  • Geddy Lee was widely recognized as a doomsday weapon when he sang after sucking helium out of a balloon. (The pitch is too high for humans to hear of course, but over 367,000 Canadian dogs exploded nationwide during the government tests).
  • Geddy Lee is not you
  • Geddy Lee has appeared in the comic strip Bloom County on numerous occasions.
  • Anyone who shakes Geddy Lee's hand will die (eventually).
  • Geddy Lee is known to randomly message people online, claiming to be Geddy Lee, while screaming "LOOK AT MY FACE!"
  • Geddy Lee is also known to transform into his ultimate form, the Geddy Yeti when angered.
  • Geddy Lee moves pictures.
  • Geddy Lee gives signals to owls that he is leaving on an airplane
  • Geddy Lee can fit into a clothes dryer, a feat he often performs during concerts.
  • Geddy Lee is also responsible for the reestablishment of the USSR.
  • Geddy was not born, but rather hatched from an egg.
  • Geddy Lee once forced five midgets to line dance in front of the Washington Monument to the tune of "Oh Shit, Here Comes Roger Waters."
  • Geddy Lee once ate his own left foot.
  • Geddy Lee is often called a working man. I guess that's what he is.
  • Geddy Lee can hit the white note with his voice, causing unimaginable ejaculation.
  • Geddy Lee is the only known human being to look and sing like a white woman, but play the bass guitar like a black man.
  • Although contrary to popular belief, Geddy Lee does in fact have a huge nose.
  • Geddy Lee is the only known man to be able to swallow his own nose.
  • Geddy Lee was also a great philosopher, seeing as he was the only person to figure out that you can't have freedom for free.
  • Geddy Lee is the only member of Rush to have successfully inhaled a live chicken.
  • Geddy Lee is the only man who knows how to do a "Acid Rain" dance
  • Geddy Lee was mayor of Tulsa for 12 seconds.
  • Geddy Lee has no teeth.
  • Geddy Lee once watched the Discovery Channel for 21.12 consecutive hours.
  • Geddy Lee always sits in Red Sector A at Blue Jays games.
  • Geddy Lee was born on Bastille Day in Lakeside Park next to a Fountain of Lamneth. His father was a Necromancer and is quoted as exclaiming "I Think I'm Going Bald!" as Geddy's head emerged from the womb.
  • Touching Geddy Lee's skin is like caressing steel.
  • Geddy Lee was a gangsta rapper for a brief period in 1992.
  • Contradictory to popular belief Geddy Lee is sexy.
  • Geddy Lee can give you AIDS
  • Geddy Lee has given you AIDS
  • Geddy Lee's name came from his grandmother. His real name is Leddy Gee, but his grandmother had trouble pronouncing it: it always came out as Geddy Lee. So his parents simply renamed him.
  • Geddy Lee is forced to pretend that strangers are long-awaited friends.
  • Geddy Lee will one day inherit the world, but then realize it's a far cry from the world he thought he'd inherit.
  • Geddy Lee's turds hit the water without a splash

Discography[edit]

  • Rush Flying by Night in a Caress of Steel in the year 2112 as we bid Farewell to Kings of this Hemisphere while Permanent Waves Move Pictures sending out Signals putting Grace Under Pressure Powering Windows to Hold Your Fire and, Presto! I have Rolled the Bones' Counterparts Testing for Echo leaving Trails of Vapor, all while playing Snakes and Arrows. (Released approx. Dawn of Man)
  • Rush (1974)
  • Fly By Night (1975)
  • Caress of Stainless Steel of Fire (1975)
  • Clean Up the Horse Shit (1976)
  • I Really Need Testicles (1977)
  • A Farewell to Queens (tribute to Elton John, who was killed that same year) (1977)
  • Artificial Pseudoscientology (1980+1979i)

It is important to note that at this point, Geddy Lee bought a time machine.

  • 2112 (2112)
  • The Big Shnoz (2007)
  • 2006 (2006)
  • 1221 (1221)
  • Fly By Day (5791)
  • I Gotta Take A Piss (1353)
  • Binary Solo (1010)
  • Oh Man, I Should Go Meet H. G. Wells (1776)
  • Oh Man, H. G. Wells is Way Cooler Than George Washington (1920)
  • Led Zeppelin IV (1975)
  • The Wall (1980)
  • Moving Pictures (1981)
  • A Dog and a Fucking Fire Hydrant (1982)
  • A Dog Fucking a Fire Hydrant (1982 BC)
  • A Fire Hydrant Fucking a Dog (2101)
  • A Fire Dog Fucking a Hydrant (2103)
  • A Fucking Dog Fires a Hydrant (1983)
  • A Dog Fuck Hydrant Fire Fuck (December 31, 2111)
  • Grace Under Pressure (1984)
  • Pressure Over Grace (1985)
  • It's Over Between Grace and Pressure (1989)
  • Power Windows (1987)
  • Shirtless Ectomorph With Binoculars (1879)
  • Weakness Linux (1999)
  • American Idiot
  • Mediocre Macintosh (2013)
  • Hold Your Fire (2015)
  • Hold Your Water (2017)
  • The Wall (1987)
  • Hold Your Air (2023)
  • Fire Your Hold (1879)
  • Hold Your Liquor, Geddy Lee Can't (1999)
  • Red With Three Balls (1988)
  • Ta-da! (1990)
  • Roll The Boners (1991)
  • A Nut Fucking a Bolt (1993)
  • A Dog Fucking a Bolt and a Hydrant (1994)
  • The Wall: Testicles are Gone (2007)
  • Test For Silence (1996)
  • My Favourite Haddock (2000)
  • Great Balls of Fire! (2002)
  • Medieval Extraterrestrial Clams of Syrinx (4114)
  • Feedbag (2004)
  • Chutes and Ladders (2007)
  • God, This is My Least FavoUrite Headache (1367.446)
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