Michael Crawford

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Michael Crawford.

Michael Crawford as the Phantom of the Opera, singing "Ooh Betty!" with his customary beret and clueless expression.

Michael Crawford is an actor, singer and small angry smurf, who has become an icon of British entertainment over the past several centuries. Originally named Michael Patrick Dumbell-Smith he stole the name of some unknown computer geek that nobody cares about who also is a musician and artist and was not notable enough to get a Wikipedia entry. Anyone with a last name of Dumbell-Smith would get teased about it in the entertainment industry. Since Michael Jackson was already taken, Michael Patrick Dumbell-Smith became Michael Crawford.

[edit] Television credits

After a long life wearing a beret and generally making fun of the French, Michael was commissioned by the BBC to create a series of documentaries about his day-to-day life. The series, which was named Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em after his infamous catchphrase, proved to be a massive success, and he became an overnight star.

However, with a chunk of stardom slowly melting in his belly, he yearned for more substantive roles, and thus turned down offers for such shows as Minder, Pride and Prejudice, Debbie Does Dallas, and 'Play School', all of which he considered total crap.

[edit] Theater credits

Michael Crawford, the theatrical genius, is quite a performer. He is very famous and is now considered gay. You may think "Huh?" Well, once the 2004 "Phantom of the Opera" came into the public's eye's many women were wooed by Gerard Butler and his amazing growl (which he calls singing). The Wooed Women then listened to the original (Michael Crawford) and considered him gay because he didn't growl as much as Gerard.

[edit] Where is he now?

After performing in the 2004 musical "The Woman in White" he has gone missing from the public's Butler-crowded eyes. Some believe he's hiding on a secret island with missing (assumed dead) Tupac. Others believe he went back in time to have sex with One Armed Philly. He had a prolonged affair with her back in the 20's when both were making the Vaud-ah-ville circuit (he in the theatres, her behind them, if ya know what I mean) and it is widely believed that they fell in love...or, at least, a strong lust.

[edit] Select Credits

• Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em (TV)
• The Phantom of the Opera (unfortunatley only the stage and not the movie)
• Flowers for Algernon
• Hello Dolly (Movie)
• EFX(Special Performance)
• The Woman in White

"Man, I'm good!!" - Michael Crawford on Michael Crawford

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