Michael Hussey was born on day one of the 2006 Ashes series when he scored 80 odd and captured the hearts of many Aussie rednecks and cricket nuts across the southern land. Many believe that he was immaculately concieved by a talking boonie doll and within its womb he was bestowed with a profound enthusiasum for the game of cricket. He then went on to spank and basically rape the many english bowling attacks that dared to throw the red leather his way. As he finished the Ashes series with an average of approximately a gazillion, many were lead to believe that this man is in fact a Cricket God, a rare species of being that have divine powers on the cricket pitch. Thus Husseyism was born ....
The Ten Commandments of Husseyism
- Thou Shalt Not Believe Any Other Cricketer To Be Greater Than Hussey
- Thou Shalt Expect No Less Than A Century Every Time That Hussey Steps To The Crease
- Thou Shalt Wear No Other Undies But Hussey Undies
- Thou Shalt Carry A Blow Up Hussey From KFC With Them At All Times
- Thou Shalt Be Obsessed With And Remember Every Ball Of Hussey's Ton At The WACA
- Thou Shalt Not Kill, Unless Hussey Tells You To
- Thou Shalt Make It Their Life Goal To Sleep With Hussey
- Thou Shalt Not Tease Hussey About His Wingnut Ears
- Thou Shalt Not Be Worried About Hussey's Duck In The Last Game Of The CB Final, He Was Just Trying To Fool Us Into Thinking That He Is Human.
- Thou Shalt Not Use The Nickname 'Mr Cricket' In Vaine
A Day In The Life Of A Husseyist
A regular Husseyist will start the day with a bowl of around 48 weet-bix (48 is Hussey's One Day Number), because every Husseyist knows that Hussey himself consumes mountains of weet-bix each day by inhalation (much quicker than actually chewing). Brett Lee claims to do a pussy 7 weet-bix a day and is the 'face of weet-bix' only because we shouldnt encourage fat kids to eat mountains of Weet-bix, theyll only lose weight and get buff, and then there will be no more spinners out there.
After breakfast, Husseyist usually congregate in the backyard for a couple of hours of cricket before the real game starts on the telly. A regular Husseyist's backyard has a worn patch of grass in front of the stumps and many broken windows where 'classic shots' have pierced the in field and met with the glass.
On occasions, Husseyists will go to worship in Hussey temples, namely The WACA, The SCG, The MCG, The GABBA or The Adelaide Oval, whichever is nearest. A day worshipping will require one to get quite sunburnt and drink enough beers to contribute to the construction of a 'beer-cup chain' that stretches across the grandstand. This acts as a tribute or offering to Hussey. Throwing up all items in your lap, including those that might be heavy or cause damage to opposition spectators, when the mexican wave comes round, is also a necessity.