Mickey "Master of Disguise" Rourke
A mysterious man of many guises, Rourke is both revered and loathed in equal measure. Little is known about his childhood or family. Those who have worked with the man have stated "He just seemed to distill out of the aether!". What is known is that he has a formidable temper, and although a man of few words, a cutting and vicious tongue. He has not been seen in public for many years, but is thought to still be alive. "Sightings" of him have been made throughout numerous worldwide locations, but none of these are, as yet confirmed. It is thought that he travels the world in disguise, conducting research for his scant yet powerful prose.
Allegations abound, but consider this as an exhaustive, yet not inclusive list of the "Guises o'Rourke";
- Fidel Castro
- Charles Bukowski
- Ernest Hemingway
- Harry Angel
- Leon Spinks
- Terence McKenna
- William Burroughs
It is advised that should Rourke be sighted, he should not be approached.
In December, 2009 Rourke married 23 year old Russian supermodel Eugenia Volodina. Yes, you read that right. Considered one of the most beautiful, most sexy, most in demand, most photographed, and apparently most brain dead topmodels in the world, Ms. Volodina's exotic face and perfect body have graced the covers of Vogue, Elle, Harper's and Greaser Punk Monthly.
The newlyweds had to cut short their honeymoon in Colombia so that Eugenia could give birth to their first child, a baby boy whom they named Stalin. The child was born with several pornographic tattoos on his face, a cigar in his mouth and a bar tab in his hand. His first words, spoken to his mother, were "Fuck me, bitch". Rourke was released from his straitjacket long enough to kiss the baby and bite off one of its ears. The happy family now resides in the janitor's bathroom at a syringe factory.