Carlos Mencia
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Carlos Mencia better known as Carlos Menstealia, pretends to be a comedian as host of Mind of Mencia, a television show on the network Comedy Central. Comedy Central adopted the show in a project to prove to elementary school students that it is possible to get a job with down syndrome.
His real name is Ned Holness, but tries to hide this because he wants people to think he is a real Mexican. His father was German and his mother Honduran. But through the magic of unfunniness and plagiarism, Comedy Central deemed him an honorary Mexican.
Mencia's primary occupation before becoming a TV show host was wandering through the streets and yelling "Dee dee dee!" at bystanders. He was selected by Comedy Central executives as a quick replacement for Dave Chappelle when they found him sleeping in the gutter outside Chappelle's studio. Despite that fact that he is not actually a comedian, his show has garnered success with audiences who think being really loud, uncreative, and stupid equals being funny. This is in addition to the demographic his show already serves, complete fucking idiots. It boggles the mind why Comedy Central gave him a third season.
Mind of Mencia is the most common used torture device at Guantanamo Bay, often used in conjunction with anal stretching.
Mencia has never married. It is rumored that he has been on several dates. However, these ended when he tried telling a joke or two, after which his date would commit a slow and painful suicide in order to purge themself of the shame of being fucking idiot enough to give him any sort of impression that anything he has ever said or done was relevant or useful in any way.
[edit] Rise To Power
On December 22nd, 2012, Mencia was elected president of Mexico... against his will. So he decided to make the most of it. He made sure he would collect almost all of the money in Mexico for people to do his bidding, this amount being achieved in his second term as a grand total of 32 American dollars. Carlos, being disappointed at this, threatened the U.S. to give him more money by saying, "I will send swarm after swarm of Mexicans at your electric fences to eventually burn a hole through the fences making an attack free for my many... uhm ... soldiers." The U.S. responded with a swift attack to Mexico's capital, Menciaville. Luckily for Carlos, he was staying on the best cruise that Mexico could offer, which by then had advanced to a plastic raft floating somewhere in the Gulf of Mexico.
Carlos is sometimes known to make more serious comments in his standup routines. He once famously uttered, "If you're not laughing, you're not living." After that night's performance, Carlos was charged with well-over 400 counts of manslaughter.
[edit] The Beaner Jokes
It is widely known that Carlos Mencia takes his jokes and other comedic materials from other comedians, cereal boxes, the Internet, middle school students, and his BFF (best friend forever), Joe Rogan. Known sources of such theft is the origin of all of his one liners - chain e-mails. Many jokes are also borrowed from old Simpsons episodes, on account it has less viewers than The Parkers (a popular show, made by niggers for niggers), which airs on UPN.
Although controversial, many have generated theories as to why Carlos Mencia partakes in an attempt at comedy, most concluding that he felt if David Spade can do it, so can he.
Carlos Mencia is actually quite racist against Mexicans, and despises them. This is not conveyed on his television show because he simply cannot find enough crude, racially insensitive Mexican jokes on the internet.
