BIKES ARE PROHIBITED
| The Subject of this Article is too Damn Sexy!|
If you saw this person it's possible that you might fall to the ground and
worship him/her, or spontaneously combust from a sex drive overload.
“SHE'S replacing ME?!!!”
“Misty is just too expensive for me. I mean, she always demands a bike.”
“Look at me, I'm as helpless as a kitten up a tree”
Misty (b. February 1, 1990) was a fat, yet perpetually flat chested actress on the hit reality show Pokemon. She was the fangirl for 27 million 8 year old boys, and got the majority of them addicted to Uncyclopedia, Pokemon, and Bananas.
Misty was born to Heidi Klum and Frank Sinatra, who raped her in Cerulean City, a large housing division of Bradenton, Florida, during the Nintendo Revolution. Due to the hostile, confusing, and somewhat disturbing environment, Misty had to do whatever she could to survive. At the age of 3, she thought her parents were killed in a drive-by, and she thought she was left to fend for herself. She killed a boy at age four, and realized how much fun a bike really is. Her father was recently discovered to be Trent Reznor, and her mother was Celine Dion which explains why she's such a bitch.
After that, Misty began to fight a life-long battle against her addiction to bikes, a battle which she would be continuing to fight today were she not dead. It is estimated that Misty owns hundreds of thousands of individual bikes, most of which she stole. Her acting career, which will be covered later, began in 1997, when she was 15, and ended in 2007, when she was found to be Vanessa Hudgens's younger sister and did the exact same shit, only with Phil Anselmo.(No information here, suckers!)
Misty is known for her fashion, and she loves wears these clothes during the following seasons:
- Spring - She usually wears a t-shirt with jean capris, jean shorts, or khaki capris. She usually wears tennis shoes with them.
- Summer - She commonly wears a tank top or halter top with blue jeans (as long pants), and she wears them with sandals, ballet flats, or Birkenstocks.
- Fall - She commonly wears a t-shirt and jeans. The shoes vary.
- Winter - She usually wears a long-sleeve shirt with sweatpants and tennis shoes.
During the Original Pokemon series, many recall that Misty appeared with a bike, and that annoying Ash kid jacked it. This was unscripted, like most of the reality show, but the producers loved having a hot little eleven year old to keep Ash company. They gave Misty directions to Ash's home, hoping a fling would start up. Ash didn't really like the idea of having a girl in the show, but he was getting paid too much to object.
Misty and Ash eventually found Brock, the only filipino in the show. He was something of an over-sexed womanizer, but no one ever found him attractive, possibly because of an ability to cook, and the odd habit of wearing aprons. He was seventeen when he was discovered, making him 8 years older than Ash. However, he never tried to seduce Misty. Brock did try to seduce every OTHER female on the show. Maybe it was her suspenders...
Misty followed Brock and Ash for several years. Some people ask why she did not seduce them, but there was one main reason for it: Misty fell in love with May, when she was going to kill her, but go turned on at how cute, sweaty and scared May was.
An egg that the threesome found hatched into Togepi, and declared Misty its mother. It is unknown what happened between them, but Misty is often not present during night scenes, indicating some possible unusual activity between pokemon and some other job. Also, being on TV gave her enough money to fuel her bike addiction.
Unfortunately, Misty was fired partway into season 5. Topepi left her after an evolution to Togetic, and went for its fellow Togepi's. Misty, unsatisfied, brutally raped Ash in the middle of the night, and was fired for violating the show's permit. This proves that Brock is bisexual. We already knew that Ash was gay (well, he was until May showed up, it turned official when Dawn did).
Misty was removed in a fancy episode, and was replaced by May.
Due to her popularity, she makes many guest appearances in seasons 6, 8, and three episodes in season 9. In one of those 3, she strips her clothes, showing that she had no boobs. This either means she is much younger than she seems, which is unlikely as she has done some whoring AND has raped Ash(several times), or she's not a girl!(which also seems unlikely, for the same reasons.) Or, she's a mutated human(probably she was mixed with a pokèmon during her research)It was said that she will make a return in season 10 (Pearl and Diamond), which is still being released, one episode at a time. However, she didn't make it because Dawn did. Misty, according to rumors, may re-enter the current Diamond & Pearl saga as a main character.
Basically, she has no acting career because she's not an actress nor is she sexy.
Misty's Love Interest
After a long battle with Team Rocket for the egg, Misty drugged Ash with 10000 mg of opium, and got Togepi to look at her first. Togepi, being a baby, followed her around, forcing Misty to take care of it.
Since Misty doesn't let anyone look at it closely, we must assume that there was something unusual about the pair. As it was stated before, they are often gone in night shoots. Some argue that this is because Misty is a girl, and must sleep separately than the guys so that the TV show's permit isn't broken. But we know otherwise...ever noticed how her hair is always messed up ? that's cuz of ... well ... yea.Pikachu ignores hearing loud noises at night ...
Misty's Sisters have reported to the National Muthafuckin' Enquirer that Misty is secretly bisexual. Misty has since, however, disproved this. Misty actually had a CRUSH on Ash. So much so that she drugged him and had sex with him while he was passed out , there after she also had sex with pikachu and forced him to " pay for the bike " he messed up.
Also, when Ash started dating May, she kidnapped them both, tried to kill May, raped Ash violently, despite his cries for forgiveness. When she went to kill May, Misty couldn't help but feel horny at the sight of her, so she raped May more violently than Ash. After that Misty became the first of May's unwanted lesbian lover (The other one is Dawn) And was kidnapped. The reason that there is no article on her is because: Misty doesn't want other people reading about HER May. (Misty is very, very possessive)
Feelings on Ash's Death
Misty could not be contacted for comment on the death of Ash, though eyewitnesses reported that Misty was lying naked in her garage when she heard the news, and that she squinted up into the sunlight, said "Wha...?", and vomited up several ounces of aluminum shavings from a bicycle frame, which were promptly collected by MacGyver for use in creating thermite. Misty has also filed a lawsuit against Ash's hot mom regarding the ownership of Ash's bike (although everyone knows it's because Ash's mom stuck a bike in her ass. Misty said she wanted TWO bikes in her ass, not one. Ash's mother refused, so Misty sued her. Then she went for "a bike ride.")
Misty, while sleeping with her hoard of bikes (And with May, who is currently in her cell wearing nothing but a paper dress), works at the Cerulean Gym as a gym leader. The Cerulean Gym is located near the Manatee County Civic Center. It is currently on of the easiest badge to get in the entire world. You just need a bike...
Donate to Help Misty
If you wish to help this poor ex-actress, help her get into rehab, please! She hasn't gotten too much money to get into a rehab clinic and she has been planning to go into one...SOON!(actually,shes just gonna steal more bikes...And buy a double ended dildo)
Famous Misty Quotes
“Hey big boy, got a bike?”
“GET OFF THE BIKE!”
“That guy is way sexier than Oscar Wilde.”
“Nigga stole my bike!”
|Pokémon:||Charmander - Grue - Hyundai - Ling-Ling - Meowth - Mew - Mudkip - Pichu - Pikachu - Poliwag - Snorlax - Teh Cheat - Towelie - Wobbuffet - Torchic - Yoshi|
|People:||Ash - Brock - Herman Cain - Max - Pokemon Kid - Team Rocket|
|Locations:||Glitch City - Pokemon Island|
|Other:||Pikachusetts - Windows FireRed/LeafGreen - Anime series - 100 Worst Pokémon Cash-ins - UnNews Pokémon Indonesia Special - Christian Symbology - Pokemon card - Gotta Catch 'Em All|