Molson

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Molson Breweries is a brewery formerly based in Canada that produced American styled beers for Canadians, Quebeckers, and Americans. The beers made by Molson are very popular with cheap Canadians and Quebeckers. The brewery is now owned by the greedy American water company Coors

History[edit]

Molson was founded in 1666 by Jean Luc Molson in Lac-des-Bieres, Quebec. Quebec (New France) was experiencing a drought of cheap watery beer since the only beer that was arriving to the region was from Britain and the New French government was cutting off ties to Britain as much as possible in the region. Jean Luc Molson created the famous Molson Canadian beer in his home in the same year. The beer was an instant success, although beer snobs were protesting outside the brewery because the Molsons made the beer taste nothing like beer, but instead taste like warm piss water. The beer snobs continued to drink their quality Unibroue beers, although the tension between the Molson drinkers and the beer snobs only got bigger.

This resulted in a war in the 1700s between Britain and France in the New French territory, the British and many French wanted Molson beer to be the only beer drank in the colony, but the beer snobs wanted only quality beer. The British won, the French were forced to drink Molsons. This leads to today, even today Molson beer is forced down the throats of all Canadians, it is still the warm water piss that it was over 300 years ago, and Canadians are forced to enjoy the taste of the warm piss, or face jail time.

The Beers[edit]

  • Molson Canadian - An American style lager that is similar to sex in a canoe since it is close to water. This beer is produced in an Molson's parent company Coors at an outsourced brewery in India.
  • Rickard's Red - A delicious beer made by Molson that was stolen from Richard "the Rocket" Rickard, traces of Rickard's blood are still seen in the beer today.
  • Molson Export - Quebec based water, very popular in Quebec since, like Canadian, it has mind-altering drugs

See Also[edit]