Montenegro

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“I am thrilled to be in Macedonia‎.”

~ Bill Clinton on Montenegro[1]

“No Whiteys Allowed”

~ Montenigger Tourist Board

“We So Hood”

~ DJ Khaled echoing the Montenigger national anthem

The United Niggerocracy of
Illustrious Montenegro
Flag of Montenegro
(Flag)
Motto: " What Choo Lookin' At, Fool? "
National Anthem: We So Hood
Official language Montenigger, Russian, Street
Capital White Man not allowed round here no mo'
Government Niggerocracy
Tribe leader Jay-Z
National Hero Will Smith
National Pastimes Basketball, Single Parenting
Territorial aspirations Expand the Ghetto
Currency Dolla Billz
Religion Gospel Choirs, Alcoholism, Laziness

The United Niggerocracy of Illustrious Montenegro, commonly called Montenegro, is a country currently located in Southeastern Europe.[2] It has a coast on the Adriatic Sea to the south-west and is bordered by Whiteys to the west, More Whiteys to the northwest, Hardcore Whiteys to the northeast and Creepy Whiteys to the south. It is known especially for its country-spanning ghetto, and lack of a police force. Black people the world over have become Monteniggers to escape having to work in their own countries.

History[edit]

See Serbian History

Back In The Day[edit]

Montenegro wasn't always such a li'l shit, nigguh! At one point in history, dat shit was as big as mah cock! Haha bitches don't know what to say! Da reason we got fucked is cuz everyone asked us to swim. So anyways, we did some cool shit and were the fuckin' pimps. Rape Sauce sales skyrocketed, and little Monteniggers spent even higher amounts of time eating the skin off of fried chicken and complaining about cotton.

Night battles[edit]

Night battles were very productive. Dis cuz dey wuz some black-ass jabbawockey nigs! Ain't nobody gonna see a quick little porch-monkey wit night goggles running nowhere! Das rite, nigguh! Dey had night-ass vision goggles! And Escalades, too!

I was gonna say some smart ass shit here 'bout Serbia or some'un, but there ain't no niggahs in Serbia! So anyways, we was having a good time, wearing deez kickass shirts that you could see our nipples through. We was the aforementioned PIMPS!

Economic policy[edit]

Montenegrinos are known to be among the laziest people on earth, along with Barack Obama and Mohammed. They don't do nothing. Everything is stolen from Serbia, and they live off welfare that doesn't exist.

For more on the Montenigger Economy, please see Montenegro's Industry

Wartime and Independence[edit]

Monteniggers pretended to participate in the war, following their leader DeTyrone Jackson, who led them from his front porch. But what they really desired was to be free, free to make fried chicken, and not swim. It was a bold dream. One that apparently they did not realize could be achieved by in fact fighting in the war. Instead they stuck to being lazy, and listening to Tupac. They got lucky though. The Serbians got tired of dealing with their shit and the fact that they didn't work and just up and left. This was the beginning of the United Niggerocracy of Illustrious Montenegro.


Medical care[edit]

There is only one hospital in Montenegro. The only doctor is British, left over from when people with class, dignity, and whips ruled the land. Most bruthas can't afford healthcare, and instead use Rapesauce to get hammered and do surgery on themselves. The result is that most medical advice is given out by the obese grandmothers of the patients. STD's are a problem in Montenegro even though most due not practice any sex at all, instead it is transmitted from their ugly faces, so masks are essential while going for a stroll in its capital Podgorica.

Military of Montenegro[edit]

The Military of Montenegro is composed of two World War II-era planes, which were generously stolen from the dirty Serbs, one fishing boat armed to the teeth with old black men full of advice and couple of Hummer limosines, complete with rims. As of 2009 it was organized as a fully professional standing army, but no one has yet volunteered. It works under the Ministry of Defense with the aim of protecting and defending Montenegro against the White Man, who continually keeps them down.

References[edit]

  1. Clinton Montenegro vs. Macedonia
  2. Some scholars dispute this claim.

See also[edit]

Bouncywikilogo10.gif
For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about Montenegro.

External links[edit]

Jugoslaviaflag.JPG Socialistic Federal Republic of Yugoslavia Jugoslaviaflag.JPG

Montenegro | Bosnia and Herzegovina | Croatia | Slovenia | Serbia (Kosovo) | Macedonia