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Montmartre is basically a hill with a church on top. The reason people refer to it as Montmartre has nothing to with the French (who would just as well call it "that nice area in the 18th arrondisment) but is in fact because of all the tourists that pollute the area and who seem to think capitalistic society and ecomoy has not yet perverted the sweet artisanl nature of the quaint little hill.


People really started giving a damn about Montmarte when some shit went down there. This happened in 1871 when after 30 years or so of binge-drinking and other debaucherie in the area, some smart ass communists decided they should keep it as a bastion against the Prussian army and new French prussian-humping government. This obviously failed because communists can't organize squat and were all shot in the back of the head whilst they were voting on a resolution to defend the rights of gay frogs to adopt little pieces of plankton (probablly). 6 years after, a hippy/architect came back from india and decided to build a mini taj mahal on top of montmartre. people went back to not giving a rat's as about montmartre until international tourism screwed everything up.


When capitalism decided to take a holiday, it went to Montmartre. Whilst there, once artsianal unemployed parasites became artisanal money grabbers. Maintenence costs are nil (nothing breaks or deteriorates, it just "looks authentic") and the flow of nikon wielding japanese and americans who buy into the "gay paris" bullshit get exactly what they deserve: their wallets raped at the expense of overpriced restaurants, self proclaimed portrait artists who couldn't color a tellytubbies coloring book and souvenir shops who make more money selling Nirvana shirts than I <3 PARIS shirt (therefor confirming the utter stupidity of the average tourist).

Local Population[edit]

The local population are mostly rich white people who have more than enough money to buy double glazing to block out the noise of tourist groups and any other stupid retards who have no valid reason to hang around montmartre. apart maybe from being thrown down it's famous stairs

(no) Future[edit]

Plans are being drawn up for Montmartre to be razed to the same height as the rest of paris and turned into a huge brothel mega complex (for historical reasons) the excavated stone will be used to make Montmarte dildos to keep the tourist trappers happy. Also, a colony of Sri Lankans will probably be founded since many of them are planning to move to Montmartre to escape the wrath of Chikungunya Fever that is currently ravaging their peninsular nation.