Mormon pride
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Mormon Pride refers to a movement in which members of a sect of Christianity called Latter Day Saints, or Mormons, gain character towards their religion. They have gained a lot of skeptism from other less forgiving Christianity sects. The group of Mormon Pride members have often gone on strikes in order to maintain their namesake. This group, led by Richard Theodore Boris, is said to be one of the most religious sects of the world. What most people don't know is that Mormon pride is actually a gangster group of Mormons dedicated at converting many to the LDS religion. Even if necesary, resorting to violence.
Mormon pride has gained fear and honor throughout states that are predominately Mormon areas, spreading gospel in the best way known to man, force. They strike fear into those states, like Missouri and Ohio, because they regret having been mudurous and envious of the Mormons in the past. A non-mormon from Utah said, "The Mormon pride group is worse than any other groups of kids I've ever encountered. Instead of asking me to buy lemonade, they have me sit and endure these long "discussions" on people like Joseph Smith." Another man from Oregon claims, "They threated to convert my wife and children if I didn't read their book." Some others, however, enjoy this form of persuasion. Mostly because they find out about home teachers and their desires to bring desserts into the home in which they teach.
The Mormon Pride has also been said to perform odd rituals including: Blessing donuts so they will give strength and make healthy the body, read-a-long time, singing in unison, burning Muslim books, putting anger into song, missionary training, early morning seminary, wearing inside out shirts, trading collectable ties, etc.
These beings should be avoided at all costs and are very dangerous to your health. Be on the lookout for a possible mormon revolt set to take place in coming years.
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[edit] Fun Facts
- Mormon pride's favorite food is fry suace which they have forced even McDonalds to produce in Utah.
- The Mormon pride's greatest fear is a supersized Chuck Norris.
- The Mormon pride claims their weakness is having money thrown at them.
- The tallest mormon was measured at an incredible 9 foot 8 inches.
- The mormons instantly kill anyone taller than 6 foot 6 inches.
- The Mormon pride has been known supporters of Captain Oblivious.
- Scientology and Mormonism are bitter enemies.
- The mormon pride has been attempting not only to convert the entire earth, but also surronding planets.
- They have been rejected from planets without life.
- They have been rejected by Chuck Norris.
- They actually hate Jello.
- Males receive home teachers even though they'd prefer Visiting Teachers.
and *Exhibit all the symptoms of mental illness.
[edit] Unique Beliefs
The Mormon Pride group has a few strange and unique beliefs that not even the real mormon religion has. Here are a few of the strange but true beliefs.
- They do not approve of:
- Jews.
- Pirates who have retired from pirating.
- California.
- Midgets.
- Non-Midgets.
- Emos.
- The religion of Scientology.
- You. Unless you are already mormon.
- Antis.
- Wikipedia.
- The NFL.
- Women (exceptions are they will be obedient housewifes).
- The evil empire.
- The Red Sox.
- Other NBA teams, except the Utah Jazz (wait, that's a BAD word).
- Pencils.
- Yu-Gi-Oh they only believe in Pokemon.
- Black people.
- Asians.
- White people.
- Muslims Ironic because they are encouraged to study Muslim works.
- Your Mom Unless she is ridiculously good looking.
- Themselves. They are not worthy to do the work that they are attempting to complete.
- The Moon. Obviously.
- Gay people.
and **Television (in most instances.)
- They do appove of:
- Pizza with less than 12 slices.
- Mountains.
- Children...lots of children...think of the children.
- Unamerica.
- The plans for the Mormon revolt.
- Great Salt Lake (Seagulls are sacred to Mormons.)
- Women's dresses' hem lines below the knee cap.
- Fry Suace.
- Chic-fil-A.
- Raspberry Lemonade or a Root Beer float.
- Halo 3.
- Any kind of Rubiks cube.
- Pens.
- Jay and Silent Bob.
- American Idol.
- PAX TV network.
- Republicans.
- 300 Which is also ironic because they are not allowed to see R-rated movies.
- Native Americans, since they are descendants of the tribe of Levite, Nephite or what the flip they came from.
- Your Father Because they are gosh darn gay.
- Christians despite they can't stand their "religion".
- Church service on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.
and Polygamy but was outlawed to be NICE to Americans.
[edit] Related Items
Home teachers. Little Miss America contests. Mormons. Mormon revolt. Dark-Side Mormons. Joseph Smith. End of the world. Fried Chicken. Pedophilia. Human sacrifice.
