Morning Musume

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Current Lineup of Morning Musume. Yeah, they're cute alright... just don't feed them after midnight...

“Once, my top lip was so swollen they had to tuck it in and superglue it to my gums so the fans could understand my Engrish...”

~ Ai Takahashi on Tsunku's beatings

“Alright! Asian chicks! Giggity-giggity!”

~ Glen Quagmire on Morning Musume

“It just started as 5 left overs from a vocalist audition, I didn't know they'd be this successful”

~ Tsunku on Morning Musume

Morning Musume[edit]

Morning Musume(モーニング娘。, Mōningu Musume) is the lead group of Tsunku's Sex!Project. In the dark ages before the line separating the sex and music industries was non-existent, this army of big eyed Japanese lesbians, sometimes referred to as the common pedophile's wet dream, terrorized the oricon charts as well as several popular Japanese television programs. Because of their subtlety(compared to the overpowering sexuality of the j-artists of today, anyway), the group was able to climb the charts and gradually contribute to the all-consuming melodic orgy that is modern day j-pop. In the World War II era, Kamikaze pilots thought that once they had died for their cause, Buddha would award them with eternal heaven and 1,000 virgins. Later scholars realized these scripts were misinterpreted and it was determined that it was referring to the combined 37 generations of Morning Musume.

The Sex!Project Begins[edit]

Former Morning Musume member Mari Yaguchi enjoying her favorite pastime.

The original incarnation of Morning Musume, beginning back in the year 1904, started with six young girls (Michiyo Heike, Yuko Nakazawa, Natsumi Abe, Kaori Iida, Asuka Fukuda, and Aya Ishiguro) being torn from their families, with the false promise that they would be made into geisha, and were instead forced into a beauty contest led by Tsunku, with the winner receiving fame and fortune as a j-pop starlet.

After Michiyo beat them to a life of luxury, the five remaining girls were cursed to a life of sex and drug addiction. To escape being thrown on the streets and of course, to earn money, they were challenged to sell themselves to at least 50,000 people in five days. They did it in four. Due to their success, they were granted a record deal and their whoring was later covered up and portrayed through the media as a challenge to sell 50,000 copies of their single We Love Seed.

First Time(If BJ's don't count) Era[edit]

After their true debut single, Morning Glory, three more girls (Kei Yasuda, Mari Yaguchi, and Sayaka Ichii) were kidnapped and forced into Tsunku's twisted world of bubblegum pop and sexploitation, and here on began a series of additions and "graduations" (or in other words when the girls brought up enough courage to come clean with their story-they were allowed to leave the brothel with an out of court settlement) some did not want to leave and were okay with becoming solo artists/hookers or joining other units of groups such as Solvent Gumi and Heroin Gumi, Coccainpopo, Ecchimoni, Skinnymoni and Pedomoni. Tsunku also created other Sex!Project groups such as Cathouse Musume, Busting Nuts Musume, Hooter Kinenbi, T and A Bomber, Berryz Sexshop, *W-hore as well as those by former Morning Musume members such as 2-Way, Li-bi-do, Nympho Natsumi, and Gropmattou. But we're getting ahead of ourselves.....

The main reason why Morning Musume sell themselves to 50,000 men sold 50,000 copies of their demo single in 5 days.

With the total number of girls an even eight, Tsunku quickly herded them into the studio, which was more like a veal farm with recording equipment. Several members of PETA once attempted to make a documentary of the twisted, inhumane recording process, but were denied access to the studio. They decided not to persist and instead turned their focus to splashing red paint on Ayumi Hamasaki's fur coat shortly after she finished shooting the video for Bold & Delicious (They were never seen again afterwards, believed to have been devoured whole by the insane, mousy-voiced diva.)

With the release of their single Red Light District came the simultaneous sexual releases of millions of perverted Japanese businessmen who bought the single just for the CD booklet, which displayed the eight girls in different positions, including on top of each other.

Kleenex sales in Japan more than doubled with the release of their first album First Time(If BJ's Don't Count), Whose tracks included GOOD PORKING Yume no Fuck We Love Seed, Morning Glory, and Red Light District among others.

Morning After Era[edit]

Morning Musume member Rika Ishikawa enjoying her two favorite things: S & M and yo-yo-ing.

Daite: Hold it in me! and Memory: Less from Being Beaten was their next two singles and was sadly the last for member Asuka Fukuda, who was unable to stop crying during a photoshoot (distraught over the fact that she and the 4 previous girls had to pose nude for the CD cover of We Love Seed) and was led back to Tsunku's office. None of the girls ever saw her again. Though Tsunku states she simply "quit to focus on her studies" there are many who fear Asuka Fukuda met a far more tragic fate, some believe at the hands of Tsunku himself.

A Rape in Broad Daylight in Midsummer was released shortly after Fukuda's mysterious disappearance, followed by FURA-TSUNKU. This created a tsunami of jizz that inundate Tokyo, caused by all the salary men of Japan when they simultaneously fapped to the hypnotic music. Morning After, their second album, was finally released with the cover featuring the girls swimming in the same jizz created by all the salary men. It featured Daite: Hold it in me!, Memory Less from Being Beaten, A Rape in Broad Daylight in Midsummer, FURA-TSUNKU and others.

3some Paradise Era[edit]

Getting on the Kuu's Bad Side[edit]

Many releases(Both musical and sexual) later, Tsunku held another "talent search" for the third generation. Japan bitch demon goddess Koda Kumi (who had been roused from her thousand years of dormancy in Mount Fuji by the massive sexual energy generated by the girls' whoring) and one other girl entered the "contest" (He'd plan to put the winner to sleep with ether, drag her lifeless to his van, bound and gag the poor victim, and drive her to the veal Unfortunately, Kumi's sluttiness and sexuality is too overpowering for the group(Tsunku originally meant for the girl's lewdness to be downplayed to an extent), and she was rejected in favor of Maki Goto.

Kumi was quoted as saying, "You'll see! You'll all see! You little bitches aren't gonna be on top forever, and when you take the fall, I'm going to single-handedly bring sexy back to j-pop!"

Goto responded, saying "Good luck finding a hand that isn't already giving a handjob..."

In response to this, it is rumored that Kumi cursed Goto so that she would forever remain in Kumi's shadow, forever striving to be sexier, forever failing, and then cackled, disappearing with a puff of black smoke. Goto denies the rumors, of course.

Here, we see the fifth generation of Morning Musume, plus Mika Todd, materialized in the form of hamsters.

Breaking in the Gocchin[edit]

The next single (and Maki Goto's first) was TSUNKU MACHINE, which stood at #1 on the Oricon Chart. Sadly, it was also the last song for Aya Ishiguro, who graduated for Morning Musume and Sex!Project (came clean), only to be doomed to marry J-rocker Shinya Yamada (her name is now Aya Yamada), being a stepford housewife, making babies, designing clothes, and writing books complaining how she made the mistake of leaving Morning Musume (and Sex!Project), just to get knocked up by a J-rocker and shoddy parenting.

Shortly after, 3some Paradise was released, featuring TSUNKU MACHINE (which is Aya's last song), Right After The Anal, and the hit single Perverts Love Our Site.

4th Child-Birth Era[edit]

Actual photo of the 4th generation of Morning Musume. And, yes, they are that skinny.

After the release of their 3rd album 3some Paradise, Tsunku abducted four more girls, which included a set of lesbians, and two lolis, (Hitomi Yoshizawa, Rika Ishikawa, Ai Kago, and Nozomi Tsuji) as filler for his Sex!Project, bringing up the total to 11. It wasn't easy, since it required all four members Sharam Q (including Tsunku himself) to drag Yoshizawa kicking and screaming to the back of the minivan. After the release of Horny Tsunku Bedding, Sayaka Ichii somehow later escaped captivity through the air conditioning ducts and later joined an resistance J-pop group CUBIC-CROSS. He then quelled Sayaka's uprising and CUBIC-CROSS broke up a year after her escape. Shortly after, Fuck Suru no Da! was released, followed by I Wank.

Bye Bye to Yuuchan[edit]

After the release of her last single with Morning Musume, the 1970s porn music styled More Engrish 21, the leader (actually, head prostitute) Yuko Nakazawa "graduated" from Morning Musume and has now gone solo (both as a J-pop artist and a hooker), as well as the new leader of Sex!Project after Michiyo left. Kaori Iida and Kei Yasuda jointly became the head mistresses leaders. Nakazawa still remains with Sex!Project untill the MILF Club escape, making singles such as GET ALONG WITH YOU(in bed), The Salaryman's Wife, Tokyo Blowjob, DO MY BEST(to pleasure him), Gently Fondling, Husband(What I'll Never Have), etc.

The Grokkies[edit]

Tsunku felt the need to expand Morning Musume (and his now famous brothel), so 200 days and the release of the successful 12th single, The Penisu!, later, he lured four more hapless victims (Ai Takahashi, Asami Konno, Makoto Ogawa, and Risa Niigaki) into his makeshift studio\brothel. Now numbering 13, they was then forced to record 'Mr Tsunku ~Ai no Big Cock~', with Hitomi Yoshizawa, Maki Goto, and Natsumi Abe having gender-bending roles in the song.

Soon after the release of We Survived The Beating which stood at #1 on the Oricon charts for eight days straight, their 4th album, 4th Child-Birth, was finally released, which featured the previous song, plus The Penisu!, Mr Tsunku ~Ai no Big Cock~, More Engrish 21, and others.

No. 5 (Counting Backwards in the Kama-Sutra) Era[edit]

Soon after the release of their 15th single, Do me! Now, Maki Goto "graduated" from Morning Musume in 2002, only to remain in Sex!Project for another five years. As a Sex!Project soloist hooker, she churned out singles such as Uwasa no SEXY PIMP, I Want to Hold Your Cock And Wank, SOME BOYS! GROPE, Yaruki! I'm Easy, Daite yo! Please Do Me, and Glass no Dildo. In the meantime, Morning Musume released three new singles, Cock ni Arousal, Morning Musume Hot-Horny Orgy Island, and Yes Porking Girls, which was supposed to be a promotional song for some dildo-shaped biscuit candy.

Shortly after, their 5th album, No. 5 (Counting Backwards in the Kama-Sutra), was released, witch feature such song as Do me! Now, Cock ni Arousal and Yes Porking Girls. To replace Goto, Tsunku soon kidnapped three more girls (Eri Kamei, Sayumi Michishige, and Reina Tanaka). He also added one of his solo hookers, Miki Fujimoto, to the group, bringing the total up to 16.

Loved Me 6 Times (In One Night) Era[edit]

After the addition of the 6th Generation, Kei Yasuda "graduated" from Morning Musume some time after the release of her last two singles, Cock ni Arousal and AS FOR ONE GAY (Pride Edition), and Tsunku made Kaori Iida a full time headmistress leader. While Tsunku says it's because Yasuda wanted to start a solo career, many think it was because she was too ugly, and after 5 years, Tsunku got tired of looking at her. Yasuda is still in Sex!Project, however, untill the MILF Club escape. The next single (and first for the 6th generation members) is Soap Sex, debuted at no. 2 on the Oricon charts.

A few months later, after the release of her last two singles with Morning Musume, Go Girl ~Tsunku no Victory~ and Molestation: IT'S ALRIGHT!, Natsumi Abe "graduated", and left Kaori Iida as the last remaining original member. Abe is still in Sex!Project as a successful solo hooker untill the MILF Club escape, putting out singles such as 22sai no Kogal, Koi no Pussy, Sweet Honeypot, and Koi no Telephone SEX. In August, after the release of their two last singles with Morning Musume, Tsunku ~My Dear Pimp~ and The Story of Orgasmic Girls, Ai Kago and Nozomi Tsuji "graduated" and formed a new Sex!Project lesbian duo, called W, which became famous for songs such as Koi no Vagina, Lesbokiss, Koi no Fuck, Lust no Imi o Oshiete, and Miss Love Titties. Kago has since been fired from Sex!Project for smoking, but some say it was for infecting Tsuji with a nasty case of syphilis. She is now trying to become an pornstar actress, and Tsuji (who is still in Sex!Project untill the MILF Club escape) got herself knocked up by Ultraman.

After the release of their 24th single, Tears That Won't Stop(after the bad touch), their 6th album, Loved Me 6 Times (In One Night), was released. it featured songs such as Tears That Won't Stop(after the bad touch), Tsunku ~MY DEAR PIMP~ and The Story of Orgasmic Girls.

Rainbow 7 (Gay Pride Edition) Era[edit]

After nearly 8 years, and the release of her last single, The Manjuice!!!, Kaori Iida "graduated" from Morning Musume, and Mari Yaguchi replaced her as the group's leader, although she would resign soon after, when she was caught dating, which is against Morning Musume's rules (They're not allowed to actually fall in love with their johns) and Tsunku made Hitomi Yoshizawa the new leader (head prostitute) but not before their twenty-sixth (and last for Yaguchi and Rika Ishikawa) single, Osaka Lovely Orgy. Untill the MILF Club escape, Yaguchi still participates in Sex!Project events, although she is known for making a fast getaway when Tsunku is in a 50m radius. Iida, too, is still in Sex!Project, untill the MILF Club escape, only to get knocked up by a member of one of Tsunku's male groups, 7House.

A few days later, Tsunku raided a middle school, and kidnapped one of the most talented singers ever, Koharu Kusumi to replace Rika Ishikawa who "graduated" just 6 days later. Ishikawa still remains in Sex!Project untill the MILF Club escape, forming a threesome lesbian group called V-u-den, with Erika Miyoshi and Yui Okada. For four years the three have recored songs such as Jizz no Nukegara, All By Myself (With a Dildo), Man Cream to My Pudding, Busty Girl Paradise, and their final song, Nanni mo Iwazu ni I LOVE TO FUCK YOU.

Weeks later Morning Musume released their twenty-sixth (and first for Kusumi) single, Sexy Impotence, which stood at number 2 on the Oricon charts for the first week, followed by Sexual Intuition 2 ~The Penis We Let Slip Was Huge~. Their 7th album, Rainbow 7 (Gay Pride Edition) was released. It featured The Manjuice!!!, Osaka lovely orgy, Sexy Impotence and Sexual Intuition 2 ~The Penis We Let Slip Was Huge~, as well as their 3rd version of The Story of Orgasmic Girls.

8 HOURS OF SEX Era[edit]

Ai Takahashi and Miki Fujimoto are determining on who will be the new headmistress leader of Morning Musume after Hitomi Yoshizawa left.

In January, Tsunku made Kanna Arihara, the only lesbian Sex!Pro Egg, the newest member of his team, who later escaped. The following summer, after the release of their last two singles, SEXY GIRLS ~Bishoujo no JAILBEITO~ and Fellatio! ~FELLATIO IS GOOD!~, Asami Konno and Makoto Ogawa "graduated" from Morning Musume and Sex!Project to enter college. Unfortunately for Konno, she was tracked down, and dragged back to Sex!Project. Ogawa supposedly has plans of returning, although really, she told that she had moved to Jupiter, and changed her name to Oscar Wilde.

However, after hours of getting slapped and raped by Tsunku and fellow members of Sharam Q, Konno reviled that Ogawa moved to New Zealand with no intentions of coming back, and that the move to Jupiter was a clever ruse. He then send his two fellow members, Hatake and Taisei, there to search for her. And after two years of staking out and talking to people, the two snatched Ogawa on her way to class and forced her on a plane back to Japan where she was forced back to Sex!Project.

In the winter, shortly after the release of SEXY GIRLS ~Bishoujo no JAILBEITO~, a search for new members was started. Tsunku promised fans that more than one girl would be chosen this time. On December 10, Tsunku once again, raided a middle school, and kidnapped Aika Mitsui. We're Going To Be NUDE~YES!~ was released shortly afterwards, followed by Wanking Along (To All Our Videos). Little known to the angry fans who were promised more than one new members, Tsunku dispatched his fellow Sharam Q members to China, where they would abduct two unsuspecting girls, Li Chun and Qian Lin. To hide their whereabouts from the Chinese government, Tsunku change their names to Junjun and Linlin.

Later, after the realease of her last single, Enjo Kosai Twilight, Hitomi Yoshizawa "graduated" from Morning Musume, and Miki Fujimoto was named leader. 28 day later, Fujimoto was forced to resign as leader because, like Mari Yaguchi, she too was caught dating (she got all kinds of bad advice from Yaguchi), and Ai Takahashi was named leader. Both Yoshizawa and Fujimoto are still in Sex!Project untill the MILF Club escape, with Yoshizawa the captain of the Sex!Project soccer team, the Gatas Brilhantes S.P., and Fujimoto forming a xxx homoerotic lesbian duo, GAM (Gay Aya and Miki), with another existing Sex!Project solo hooker, Aya Matsuura.

In March of 2007, their 8th album, 8 HOURS OF SEX, was released. It featured songs such as We're Going To Be NUDE~YES!~, Wanking Along (To All Our Videos), Fellatio! ~FELLATIO IS GOOD!~, and SEXY GIRLS ~Bishoujo no JAILBEITO~.

Platinum 9 Dildo Era[edit]

Escape of the MILF Club[edit]

Some time after the release of Morning Musume's 37th single, Pussy Keibu, Tsunku came to the conclusion that all 21 MILF Club members where getting too old to turn tricks anymore and begin getting married and having kids. Therefore they was no longer profitable as both prostitutes and singers. Rather that to let them loose where they can reveal the location of his brothel to the police, Tsunku plans to have them all executed. However, his plans was foiled when Yuko Nakazawa found escape plans hidden in Maki Goto's floor mat. In the early morning hours of February 1, 2009, the MILF Club members escaped the brothel by crawling through air ducts and onto the roof, where Hitomi Yoshizawa and Asami Konno took out a one of the guards. then they all climbed down the building to ground level, where they escaped in vans driven by Nozomi Tsuji's and Kaori Iida's husbands.

Shortly after sunrise, one of Tsunku's henchmen entered the bedroom the girls are all sharing, only to find out that the MILF Club members are missing. Tsunku then made a deal with them, promising not to force them to prostitute anymore and to not harm the remaining Sex!Project members if they don't go to the police. He then made Ai Takahashi the new leader of Sex!Project.

I Might Cum-Oh! was released a month after the MILF Club escape. A month after that, Morning Musume's ninth album, Platinum 9 Dildo was released witch features Resonant Moan, I Might Cum-Oh!, Onna ni Lust Are, Chikan, and Enjo Kosai Twilight.

10 My Muff Era[edit]

More to come[edit]

  • Request for a Berryz Sexshop article*

Other Information Not Yet Categorized[edit]

In April 1972 the group began broadcasting pornography to help Japanese working men with their Morning Glory, the show was thus titled Sex!Sex with the famous S!P ;) (Sex!Project [Wink]) as it's logo. This further increased risk of sexually transmitted diseases and the girls popularity. By this time they had also given birth to numerous sons (who were sent to Johnny's Entertainment) and daughters who were all born to Tsunku and forced to live the same life as their mothers forming such groups as Sex!Project Kids, B-ait, and Cherryz Popping.

A massive amount of merchandise was through special photo books, pornographic calendars/posters/playing cards not to mention the Reina Tanaka love doll and the famous undressing Maki Goto fountain pen which was strictly limited to one copy, currently owned by Kim Jong Il in his private collection along with Kwon BoA.

Singles and Albums Not Yet Mentioned[edit]

From First Time(If BJs Don't Count):

  • Yume no Fuck
  • We Love Seed
  • Morning Glory
  • Red Light District
  • Door to the Pearly Gate

From Morning After album:

  • Memory Less from Being Beaten
  • Never Forget (the Johns)
  • Stripclub Spotlight
  • Who's Your Daddy?
  • Sex Toys
  • Daite: BONE ON ME
  • Suki De Penisu x5
  • Otome no Private Parts
  • Ah Oooo Oh Ah Ohhh!!
  • Perverts Love Our Site (hidden track)

From 3some Paradise album:

  • Perverts Love Our Site
  • Right After The Anal
  • Fuck Suru No Da!
  • Harajuku Love Hotel 6:00 Shuugou" (Meeting at Harajuku Love Hotel at 6:00)
  • Why (You Came On My Face)
  • ... I love (to fuck) you!

From Best! Sex Ever Vol. 1 album:

  • Daite Hold it in me!
  • Miserable Summer Compensated Dating
  • Say Yeah! ~Motto Sexual Intercourse Night~
  • A rape in broad daylight in midsummer
  • Fuck Suru no Da!

From 4th Child-Birth album:

  • The Penisu!
  • Mr Tsunku ~Ai no Big Cock~
  • We Survived The Beating
  • More Engrish 21
  • The two on the train (having sex)
  • Sex Partner
  • I Wank
  • Hajimete no Rock Concert Groping

From No. 5(Counting Backwards in the Kama-Sutra) album:

  • Horny Tsunku Bedding
  • Cock ni Arousal
  • Do me! Now
  • Yes Porking Girls
  • Sugoi Seikou

From Best! Sex Ever Vol. 2(Ok so I was wrong..) album:

  • Morning Musume Hot-Horny Orgy Island
  • Soap Sex
  • AS FOR ONE GAY(Pride Edition)
  • Molestation: IT'S ALRIGHT!
  • Go Girl ~Tsunku no Victory~

From Loved Me 6 Times (In One Night) album:

  • Tears That Won't Stop(after the bad touch)
  • Tsunku ~MY DEAR PIMP~
  • Urine Iru to Semen Tea
  • Help!! He's Beating Me!!
  • Seikouyoku (Sexual desire)
  • Libido ~Sex At Times~
  • Orgasm
  • The Story of Orgasmic Girls 2

From Rainbow 7 (Gay Pride Edition) album:

  • Osaka lovely orgy
  • Rainbow Pink Thingie
  • Sexy Impotence
  • Sexual Intuition 2 ~The Penis We Let Slip Was Huge~
  • The Story of Moaning Girls

From 8 HOURS OF SEX album

  • We're Going To Be NUDE~YES!~
  • Wanking Along (To All Our Videos)
  • Fellatio! ~FELLATIO IS GOOD!~
  • SEXY GIRLS ~Bishoujo no JAILBEITO~

From Platinum 9 Dildo album

  • Resonant Moan
  • Enjo Kosai Twilight
  • I Might Cum-Oh!
  • Onna ni Lust Are
  • Chikan

From 10 My Muff album

  • Eroguro Princess
  • Why Slutty Women Stand Out
  • Pimp Ren'ai
  • Helpless Man Chaser
  • Seishun Erection



From All of Coccainpopo album

  • Muff
  • Lust Kiss
  • Coccainpopo
  • Otome Penis ni Kando


From Zenbu Pedomoni album

  • Puritti Shitti X'Mas!
  • BABY! Koi ni KNOCK UP!

Heroin Gumi[edit]

  • Ai no Sono ~Touch My Breasts!~

Solvent Gumi[edit]