Mothra

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The Mothra is an immense (40 millimeter) monstrous moth (Catocala sponsa), mortal enemy of Fokra, the giant lightbulb.

Featuring in many of Quentin Tarantino's early silent monster movies, Mothra was typically portrayed as a violent, antisocial manic depressive with a drink problem and radioactive wings. Responsible in one sequel for driving away Japan's national dish Godzilla, and in another for wrestling with King Kong atop the Blackpool Tower, Mothra's most famous appearance was in the movie "Mothra/Fockra". In this installment of the classic movies, Mothra and Fockra were merged into one terrifying beast, MothraFockra. Oft-quoted lines from this cult classic include "Look at the size of that MothraFockra", "Die you MothraFockra!" and "MothraFockra do that shit to me, he better paralyze my ass cuz I'll kill the MothraFockra, know what I'm sayin'? "

Peter Jackson is in talks to revive the franchise, and it is hoped that Mothra can be released from her contract with the Power Rangers in order to make the comeback. If she cannot, Johnny Depp is thought to be available.

Attack[edit]

In case of a real life Mothra attack, seek one of the following:

  • Godzilla
  • Godzilla's half bother, Claudezilla
  • Godzilla's half brother's kitten Jonbald. Mothra has a soft spot for kittens, they make him swoon.
  • The Twinkler
  • Indiana Jones
  • Kurt Cobain, or anyone from Nirvana. Grunge music will temporarily distract her so you can pull out the "big guns".
  • Gwen Stefani. Gwen keeps a box full of tiny little Harajuku girls under her bed. You only need to feed these little space aliens ten thousand yen's worth of stack heels, and they'll go down on you like it ain't no thang. You will then be able to stop worrying about giant moths.

If not, please call Tech Support (Batman) and be prepared to listen to Perry Como's entire discography while civilization burns around you. Touch-tone phones only.

See also[edit]

                             Ancient Gods of the Greek Mythology
                              (also known as the FSM family)
 
                                       Chaos
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                                      Chronos==|==Chaos
                                               |
                   -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                   |         |                                                       |           |
                 Zeus===|===Hera===|===This Guy==========|=====Fairy Godmother   Hades==|==Poseidon
                        |          |                     |                              |
       ---------------------       |                -----------                     Anonymous
       |        |          |       |                |         |
     Venus=|=Athena      Hermes    |---Antithe  Tinkerbell   God===|===Virgin Mary
           |      |          |     |---Athe                        |
 Chaos=|=Atana==|=Seiya  Peter Pan |---Pan                  Original Jesus
       |   |    |                                                  |
Godzilla  Amy  Girly                               ...and we all know what happened then