Mozambique
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
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| Motto: "General Oogudougudoo knows all" | |||||
| Anthem: Heaven and Mozambique - Black Sabbath | |||||
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| Capital | General Oogudougudoo’s Glorious Mansion | ||||
| Largest city | Labour Camp | ||||
| Official languages | Nepotism and Corruption | ||||
| Government | Dictatorship... I mean Democracy | ||||
| Great Leader General Oogudougudoo | Great Leader General Oogudougudoo | ||||
| National Hero(es) | Great Leader General Oogudougudoo | ||||
| Declaration of Independence | huh? | ||||
| Currency | Property of Glorious General Oogudougudoo and select government officials. | ||||
| Religion | Great Leader General Oogudougudoo | ||||
| Population | Worshiping Glorious General Oogudougudoo at their own free will. | ||||
| Major exports | Government Propaganda, AIDS, cashew nuts | ||||
| Major imports | Luxury cars, Cuban Cigars, Pools, Hookers, Gold Jewelry (for the Government) | ||||
The Glorious nation of Mosamike Mosambik Mosambinke Mozambrike Mozambique is greatest country in Africa if not World. Glorious nation of Mozambique is ruled benevolently by great leader General Oogudougudoo who always knows best for country. Glorious nation of Mozambique borders Ocean, big lake, South Africa and Scum in Malawi. Glorious nation of Mozambique has world largest deposit of Stibnite, used to make left handed screwdrivers, thanks to great leadership by great leader General Oogudougudoo.
- Area – Bigger than filthy Malawi.
Contents |
[edit] History of Mosamike Mosambik Mosambinke Mozambrike Whatever
Not much is known about Glorious nation of Mosamike Mosambik Mosambinke Mozambrike Mozambique. In fact nothing is known. who cares?
[edit] Demographics
why do you need to know?
[edit] Economy of Mosamike Mosambik Mosambinke Mozambrike forget it
Non existent.
[edit] Culcher
The culcher of Mozambique is mainly based around hate of scum from filthy Malawi and worship of great leader General Oogudougudoo. Wherever a person goes they must be carrying a picture of great leader General Oogudougudoo and admiring it. Windscreens in all 3 non government cars have been replaced by giant pictures of General Oogudougudoo. Fundraising is currently underway to raise enough money to build a 100 metre high scale model of great leader General Oogudougudoo’s Glorious head, the goal will be reached by 8923AD.
There are many customs found only in Mozambique, such as placing foliage in the middle of road to warn of accidents or hazards ahead, the larger the foliage, the greater the hazard. If in entire tree is placed across the road you better try another route.
The Mozambican government owns two passenger trains, but there are no train tracks in Mozambique. Instead the trains are pulled long distances by the would be passengers and people who failed to pay their taxes, while carrying government officials (the would be passengers still have to pay their fares mind you).
“Can’t talk, worshiping great leader General Oogudougudoo”
~ Oscar Wilde on Mozambique
[edit] Law and Politics
General Oogudougudoo has won every single election since 1977 by a landslide of 100%. The 2006 election was also a landslide win for General Oogudougudoo, with 157% of the vote. Mosabinke has very strict laws on almost everything.
- Things that are illegal in Mozambique
(Things marked with D are punishable by death.)
- Magazines
- Television
- Communism
- Religions other than Paganism and Voodoo
- Condoms - D
- BMWs
- Electricity - D
- Free Thought
- Wheels
- Hats - D
- Purple
- Movies
- America
- Homosexuality - D
- Computers
- Coke (Pepsi is allowed)
- Saws
- Asians
- Blacks - D
- Grues (though there is believed to be one living there)
- Ideas
- Happiness - D
- Paris Hilton
- Fun - D
- Fruit
- Pie
- Your Mom ( to fuck, - D ) ; ( to make jokes, - D ) ; ( to live with after you turn 21, - D )
- France - D
- Thinking
- Opinions
- Having more than 3 teeth
- Planes
- Helicopters
- Question Marks – D
- Everything Interesting
- DVDs
- Believing in a round earth
- Gravity
- Names beginning with A or C
- Triangles - D
- The number 6 - D
- Genitals (Filthy things)
- Garlic Bread
- Gods other than General Oogudougudoo - D
- Food
- Um
- Err
- That’s it
- wait
- …
- No
- That’s all
[edit] Fun Facts
Mosamike Mosambik Mosambinke MozambrikeMozambique has the easiest name of any country on earth to spell according to a gallop poll in 2002.- A kiss from great leader General Oogudougudoo can heal everything known to man kind.
“what? is that in south america or something?”
~ An American on Mozambique
[edit] Mozambique in Popular Culture
Mosambike Mozambiqe Mosambique Mo-Sam-Bike has been the setting for many badly made copies of books and films over the years:
Films - Mozambique has a booming industry of making bad copies of bad movies, in the case of "Battlefield Mozambique: A Saga of the Year 3000" much better than the original.
- The Mozambique Falcon
- The Mozambique Candidate
- Once Upon a Time in Mozambique
- The Wizard of Mozambique
- Dial M for Mozambique
- 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mozambique
- Battlefield Mozambique: A Saga of the Year 3000
- Transmorphers
- The Never Ending Story 38.5: Back to Mozambique, Again
- Police Academy: Mission to Mozambique
- Books - Buks... dem demon tings, tools a' satan dem is.
- None
- Music - Only heavy metal bands are legally allowed to write songs about Mozambique.
- Heaven and Mozambique - Black Sabbath
- Mozambique of Reality - Black Sabbath
- Sabbath Bloody Mozambique - Black Sabbath
- Never Say Mozambique! - Black Sabbath
- Paranoid Mozambique - Black Sabbath
- Houses of the Mozambicans - Led Zeppelin
- Mozambique ör Die - Motörhead
- Fallout Boy tried to release an album entitled "Thnx fr th Mzmbq" but were lynched by the population of Mozambique for crimes against humanity. This was widely seen by many as the best move of their career.
- hmmmmmhp touch my body, lay me on the floor, can't say we'd never made love before! touch my body!
[edit] Internal Links
| North Africa | Algeria · Egypt · Libya · Morocco · Sudan · Tunisia · Western Sahara | 
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| West Africa | Benin · Burkina Faso · Côte d'Ivoire · Ghana · Guinea · Guinea-Bissau · Liberia · Mali · Mauritania · Niger · Nigeria · Senegal · Sierra Leone · Togo | |
| Central Africa | Angola · Cameroon · Belgium · Central African Republic · Chad · Democratic Republic of the Congo · Equatorial Guinea · Gabon · Republic of the Congo | |
| East Africa | Burundi · Djibouti · Eritrea · Ethiopia · Kenya · Madagascar · Malawi · Mauritius · Mozambique · Rwanda · Seychelles · Somalia · Tanzania · Uganda · West Kenya · Zambia · Rhodesia | |
| Southern Africa | Botswana · Lesotho · Namibia · People's Glorious Republic of Uukumbamabahalarata · South Africa · Swaziland · Zululand | |
| Dependencies | United Kingdom : Gibraltar · Indian Ocean Territory · Isle of Wight · Welsh Congo (Pitcairn Islands) |
