Mutagen

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In biology, a mutagen (Latin, literally oh god, please don´t eat my brain) is a physical, chemical or headcrab agent that changes the genetic information (usually DNA) of an organism and thus increases the frequency of mutations above the natural background level. Not all mutations are caused by mutagens: So-called "spontaneous mutations" occur due to errors in DNA replication, headcrabs and repair and recombination of DNA sequences.

Effects of mutations[edit]

The effects of changes in nucleic acid sequences by mutations include:

  • substitution of nucleotide base-pairs

What the hell?Those headcrabs should be locked up-ARGHNOEZ

Discovery of mutagenesis[edit]

In 1920, Hermann Muller discovered that he was able to perform ballet-tabledance if he drank sufficient nail polish. To fund his own table-ballet-bar, he used x-rays on fruit flies to create his own fruit fly-mutant-zombie-mutagenesis-headcrab-ice cream - army.
Run for your lifes!*screee*OH GOD IT GOT MY LEEEG!
Unfortunately (for him), he died when he opened a box labelled "A special gift from Black Mesa".

Origins of mutagens[edit]

A company called bumbershoot inc. claims that they have invented mutagens, since
HEADCRABS!HEADCRABS!HEADCRABS!
they created the first string of Pee-viruses (a virus that significantly decreases the size of one´s bladder), but others, such as the Massachusetts Institute of T-Viruses(MIT, McDonalds and the teletubbies state that they invented mutagens first.

There are three kinds of mutagens:

  • Zombie mutagens are created by a company or an alien oppressive force.
  • Superhero or übermensch mutagens are usually found within a laboratory. They seem to be deathtraps, but they will make you in fact superhuman if you get caught/struck/raped/vaporized by them [O RLY?].
  • Other mutagens will just turn you into an ugly freak.

Examples[edit]

Priority alert!Headcrabs have contaminated the area!I repeat, there are headcrabs on the loosARGH GET IT OFF!GETT IT OFF MEEEEUAHrr...

Mutagens in fact[edit]

  • Mutagens are believed to have caused WWI, WWII, WWWI, WWπr2 and WWOWWWXXXLLLCIIICCLLXIC
  • Mutagens are not edible
  • Headcrabs have a mutagen called the "Head-humper virus"
  • Scientific progress has shown thatHURK-UAAAAH!*scree*HELPARGH!

See also[edit]