NATO
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“If you cannot be turned, you will be DESTROYED!”
~ Secretary General Palpatine on NATO policy
NATO (a.k.a. North American Terrorist Organization or No Action, Talk Only and Not Another Trucker Orgasm) is another Uber organization which operates as a powerful military alliance. The founding purpose of NATO was to halt the spread of Communism, in order to provide the United States with as many export markets for porn as possible. However, since the rise of Osama bin Laden as a pop singer, its biggest adversary is the Muslim Ummah, although occasional fighting against Chinese communists occurred in 2008 in London, Paris, San Francisco and Buenos Aires.
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[edit] Reasons for NATO
After the Second World War, The Soviet Union had occupied a lot of Eurasian land and banned freedom and happiness, as well as porn. This move had angered many members of Congress as well as the Super Friends, who used porn to make weapons grade kryptonite. After the war, the US economy was somewhat weak and the Soviet move to ban pornography would be a major to blow to American export revenues, especially if this ban spread to more countries.
Since this war took place in a time where nearly all politicians were males, it was obvious that something had to be done. The United States invited hundreds of important European politicians to a summit in 1947 to explain the situation over hot towels and scotch. This gave birth to the NATO alliance.
[edit] The Soviet Response
The Soviet Union responded by establishing the Warsaw Pact, which dictates that all Soviets could ever see was war. Soviet leaders figured this was a good idea because all scientific evidence suggested that images of war would make citizens loyal to their leaders, while images of porn would make them unsocial and indifferent towards collective issues, such as farming or the vodka plant.
alright is says weapons grade kryptonite and some other stuff up there who is in charge of this website?
[edit] NATO succeeds
The ultimate goal for NATO was not only to stop the Soviets, but to defeat them, in order to finally create a world porn market—the Internet. This vision came true in 1991, when the Soviet Union tripped on its bill, and the porn bans were repealed. This evolution of events sparked a massive economic boom in the 1990s in the USA, with the porn industry expanding massively to please the porn-starved Russians. It was the fall of the Soviet Union that was the main drive behind the dotcom boom, in which porn made the Internet a household element.
[edit] Hidden meaning
NATO is established for another reason. NATO, abbreviation of Non-Conformists Are Traveling Overseas, is an organization that is established by the Bush family. In the late 1940s, Communist influenced Eurotrash non-conformists were immigrating to the US. In order to prevent them from entering America en mass, Harry Truman forced many countries like France to join the organization to control and lower the immigration rate effectively. The organization is not meant to provide military aid, but to control immigration so as to further protect the interests of organized labor and the Democratic party by reducing a pool of inexpensive organized labor.
[edit] The future of NATO
Some believe that NATO has played out its role, while others advocate that it must stay to symbolize and promote the West's undeniable desire for porn while defending man's right to watch porn, and the businessman's right to profit from it. Most of the inside analysts, however, say that NATO is now called the North Atlantic Toothpicking Association and is located in Brussels.
Recently the Pope issued an encyclical suggesting porn should no longer be given to children via their local Jesuit. This has angered NATO, and it remains unclear how they will respond.
