Nachos

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“Don't double dip the chip!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Nachos

“Ohhhh you bought me a nacho hat! Nacho nacho man!”

~ Homer Simpson on Nachos

“I like nachos, yes!”

~ FredFredBurger on Nachos

“...”

~ Nachoman on This Article

“Yay, nachos! Now let's go watch DA BEARS!”

~ Chris Farley on nachos

“Nachos suck!”

A regular family eats nachos.

Nachos: The Food of Legend[edit]

God created the first nachos from pieces of rawhide. They came down from heaven to earth and destroyed the dinosours buy exploding their brains the ones who survived ran with out thinking ran and hit a vollcano and activated it causeing them all to melt slowly and grosumly. Several million years later, the renowned Mexican thief Zorro stole them and had been waiting for the cheese to mature, could even get a taste. But the nachos were too dry, he probably waited too long. Even the mighty chompers of the fabled Zorro couldn't cope with them. Fortunately, his horse had been shot in the left hindquarter by an evil henchman, Diego Rasputin, and the wound was festering. Zorro squeezed some cheese on the horse and the wound healed and zorro stabbed the guy in the face. bood squirted everywhere. the aztecs near by took out the heart of the dead man and drank the blood. zorro later on randomly blew up on his birthday. Webster's dictionary calls them amazing, and Rogett's [sic] Thesaurus has Nachos as a synonym to divine and godly. Obviously nachos were invented to bring peace on earth. However, in Persian (AKA Farsi) "Nachos" means "Don't Fart", with "Chos" meaning the stinking smell of a fart.

Modern Nachos: Industrial Wonder-Food (Wundernahrung)[edit]

Nowadays nacho factories make nachos from ground-up guitar picks instead of rawhide. They bake the chips at 200 degrees Kelvin for 24 hours to make them crisp, then warm them to room temperature. The more traditional nacho makers still use horse pus for the topping, but some renegade chefs have experimented with spearmint sauce, cappuchino, and lizard droppings as well.

Some fancy nachos include such things as jalapeño peppers, ground ratmeat, pickled herring, and I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-Durian® along with the traditional yellow-orange animal exudate on top of the chips. These are French nachos -- morceaux et merde. Like most French pastry, they can kill unwary diners.

Eating one full plate of nachos in less than 84.7 seconds is part of the initiation process to get in to Todd's gang. Recent reports have not yet confirmed the rumor that nachos are now illegal in a four block area of Toledo because of some conflicting legislation that, oddly enough, makes no mention of nachos whatsoever.

Mating Habits[edit]

Studies have shown that nachos reproduce asexually. In the wild, they form a zygote nacho and split after several throbbing seconds. Nachos have not been bred in captivity, because they are usually eaten before the nacho reaches maturity.

Fun Facts Not About Nachos[edit]

  • One out of ten iguanas will never learn to read.
  • The North Pole is named Czesciuslaw and lives in Tahiti.
  • Grandma Moses was not the real grandmother of Moses.
  • In Manhattan it is legal to burn your nephew's feet, but only if he has wooden legs.
  • You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you.
  • Domo-kun eats Republicans
  • Sid the Science Kid will never know the meaning of life. (And if he is reading this, the meaning of life is 42!)

Fun Facts That ARE About Nachos[edit]

  • Winston Churchill In Front Of A Wide Audience Stated That "Nachoes And Beef Jerky Are The Only Foods That Are Worth My Mighty Taste Buds..."
  • Heres another fact: I really really like nachos. Really REALLY like them. I can honestly think of no greater munchies than nachos. Especially the jalepeno ones.
  • If you shoot a plate of nachos to the moon, it will make a very small crater lightly coated with cheesy goodness.
  • OMG, NACHOS ARE SO GOOD!!!
  • In Farsi, "Nachos" means "Don't Fart" with "Chos" meaning the stinking smell of fart.
  • Fred Fredburger loves nachos, YES.
  • Batman loves nachos
  • I loves nachos.
  • My mother loved nachos so much she named me Duckie Nachos Anderson (this is actually true!)
  • Nachos are named after the fibonacho code.
  • Sammie, Dylan, Denica, and Abe love nachos.
  • Nachos contain all 53 essential nutrients to turn you into a werewolf/ wolverine super hero.

nachos are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good