Naked Brothers Band

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about The Naked Brothers Band.

The Naked Brothers Band is a Bubblegum pop "band". It was formed in New York in September 11, 2001, which happens to be the same day as the 9/11 terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center in the same city. (Coincidence?) They do not appeal to teenagers or kids their age, since almost 99.9% of all NBB related topics are all formed by the "band's" haters. It is official,that they disappeared in 2009.

The "Band"[edit]

The "band" is mostly formed by Nat and Alex Wolff, two immature little known kids from New York. They enjoy singing about topics that they know nothing about, such as love. The rest of the "band" has no purpose, they are never actually spoken about. Nat "plays" the electric piano in the "band" and the "band" uses him to get "lead vocals". Alex "plays" the drums, even though there have been people who have admitted that they record the sounds for them and are played when the NBB is on stage. There is a Cello player in the "band", which is odd, because no Homo Pop bands have cellos.

Many people have criticized the NBB for their name, "The Naked Brothers Band". This lead to Nat Wolff telling the story behind their "band" name, which made them look even worse. Many people disapproved of them being naked in the shower when they made the "band's" name.

Nat Wolff[edit]

Nat Wolff after not getting drunk.

Natalie Adolf "Nat" Wolff is a self-hating Jew and also the "bands" lead vocalist and keyboardist. She is also famously known as "that fucking homo" and "what a dick!". She is often considered a tool by her friends, but they don't consider her a friend. Her mental capacity is too small to know that she is being used by her classmates. It is also too small to know that they don't consider her a friend, rather "that jew who gives me free food and does all my homework." He was born to a slut in Wyoming and had piercings all over, a tattoo of Bob Marley and cumshots on his face.

Alex Wolff and the rest of the "band"[edit]

Alex Wolff a.k.a. The Douche: The perverted 12-year old "drummer". He wears a doorag, sleeps on sidewalks, smokes, does exotic dancing, fake tattoos, and attempts to skateboard.

Rosalie: The asian chick that leaves the band every two hours, but then comes back and gives Nat a boobjob. She was sent as a Canadian spy but was hurt when she found out that she is Chinese. She abducted the band, cut their dicks off, tied them up in a hidden warehouse, shot herself, and left them stranded until Lindsay Lohan came to pick them up on 12/20/2012.

Quaaism: The black "gutarist" who thinks he's Jimmy Hendrix. He was forced to leave cause he instigated the band, stole their booze, cheated on every band member, and dated Natt's mom who is a whore like Your Mom, by the way.

You know what? No one cares about these guys anyway, we're just gonna leave it here.

The Naked Brothers Band "Video Game"[edit]

Gee, who's that creepy looking pedo? :P No seriously, who is he? I can't tell, the graphics are too shitty. I guess that's Alex because of the drums, but it kinda looks more like Nat. Man, someone really needs to help me out here. Oh yeah, notice that "eventually" is spelled as "evnetually".

Rock University Presents: The Naked Brothers Band The Video Game is the first and final video game released about the Naked Brothers Band. It was developed by Rock University and was released on October 20, 2008. Rock University went bankrupt right after that. The "game" is most likely not published anymore, so you won't find it in stores. But if for some slight chance that you do, not only will the world be swallowed by a black hole the size of Chuck Norris' fist, but you will only find it for the Nintendo 64 (WTF?). The "game" was never really played by anyone, repeat: anyone, except the "band" members themselves.

The "game" is nothing but yet another cheap ripoff of the two popular series, Guitar Hero and Rockband. The "game" is about the "band" touring all over The United States. They perform in a lot of popular cities like Chicago, Miami, and New York. In each city they "play" their "music" to the artificial intelligence (AI) audience. Unfortunately, the AI audience were programmed to like their "music", so there's nothing they can do but clap and cheer at the Naked Brothers' "music."

Reception and Reviews[edit]

The "game", much like everything else the Naked Brothers have released or starred in, has received enough negative reveiws to support evidence that God doesnt exsist. The "game" was claimed to have extremely shitty graphics and misspelled lyrics. Gamespot gave the "game" a relatively good score of 1.5/10, and IGN gave the "game" a whopping 1.2/10 for its excellent controls. The Nintendo 64 version of the "game" got some higher reviews, like a 2.8/10 from GameZone. But thanks to the fact that all Nintendo 64 games have extremely shitty graphics and all their games are for kids under the age of 3, they were able to get away with bad graphics and misspelled lyrics in the "game.

If you want to read a full review of this "game" (why would you?), see this IGN article.

The "NBB syndrome"[edit]

A NBB virus cell.

The Naked Brothers Band Syndrome is a disease that is gained from excessive watching or listening of "The Naked Brothers Band". The disease enters through the victims eyes or ears and damages the brain, causing their IQ to drop at an amazingly rapid rate. Their brain is changed to make them think the show is good. When the unfortunate Average Joe thinks the show is "Sorta OK", it is already too late to operate. It is very similar to the disease used by the (horribly) popular Family Guy, as the only difference being Family Guy infects it's viewers with a disease whose sole purpose is to make its viewers think it's "funny". People with a high IQ are proven to be immune to the NBB syndrome. It is believed, but not proven, to be a prototype version of Beiber Fever, for use in The great war.

Warning sign for the NBB syndrome.

Symptoms[edit]

Said average Joe has the following symptoms once the virus has completely taken over their body.

  • IQ dropped to 0.
  • If male, Genitals shrinking to 0.00000000000000000000001mm in length.
  • Losing the ability to talk or write in proper english.
  • Loss of friends. (although they probably never had any to begin with...)
  • If male, growth of Man Boobs
  • If female, suicidal thoughts and feelings of unappreciation

If you are infected with this disease, you are now considered an "NBB fan". People like to call these "Retards", due to their low IQ status, and because they act as such. The American Health Department and The Pentagon suggest that all NBB fans should kill themselves immediately once the first sign of NBB syndrome is discovered, to prevent infecting loved ones.

A Cure?[edit]

Unfortunately, there are no known cures or treatments for this disease as of 18/06/2018, But top scientists have been working hard to find a cure. Here is a list of possible cures. The last in the list is known to be the most popular solution.

  • Brain transplant, although many argue that the body is dead once the brain is removed.
  • Hypno-therapy (trick the damaged brain into thinking NBB is shit, the brain will slowly repair afterwards if successful).
  • Anti-gayotics.
  • simply rounding all the fans up and putting them in a meat grinder.

Similarities with Beiber Fever[edit]

Scientists are trying there best to find a cure for NBB syndrome, and have not found one. but they do know that it was made up from the same thing as Beiber Fever, but Beiber Fever is much stronger, but luckily is NOT contagious like NBBS, so BF is more like AIDS and NBBS could be compared to Spanish 'flu.

Both viruses cause the victim to lose there genitals to shrinken and to lose the ability to speak proper, however BF is aimed only at 12 - 16 year old Girls, NBB is aimed at anyone under the age of 14.

Check out C0Science.org/NBBSresearch.au External.png for information on the possible cure.

What does an NBB Fan say about this?[edit]

“First of all NBB is a still a well-known band and people say they like them way more than Justin Beiber and they should!! I don't know why NBB was taken off the air but it was and it shouldnt have, they have way more fans than haters so haters can go somewhere else and stop haten on one of the best kid/teen bands ever!!! I am a NBB fan and always will be these kids are just like everyone else other than just some stuck up kids that can't find a life. So how about you go find a life and leave them alone okay!!”
~ NBB syndrome sufferer right before being shot in the face by sane people on This Article

Fans[edit]

There are some recorded fans of this "band", but it is advised to stay away from these creatures. They are harmless, but can infect you with the NBB syndrome. If ever encountered with a NBB Fan, do not move. When the NBB fan looks to another direction, run as fast as you can to really bright areas so it can chase you there, since NBB fans are weak to light, like zombies from "I am legend". This is due to excessive watching the show in their basement in the dark. Walk slowly away from it as it dies off.

What do parents think about them?[edit]

Oh my god, I can't believe my little Billy fell in love with this show, I mean I have to sit with him for a whole f*cking thirty minutes just to make him happy. Seriously, this is NOT why I pay for f*cking cable! So my son doesn't turn into a raging homosexual just by watching TV! God I don't want him to turn into that guy Perez Hilton or something. Seriously I'd rather Billy listened to Justin Bieber, at least his songs aren't about not wanting to go to school. Man what kind of s*it are the big TV companies trying to force on our kids nowadays? Really, 'Oh, I don't wanna go to school, let's be cool by not wanting to go to school!' I'm really ashamed of Nickelodeon for airing this crap on their once brilliant channel. I mean who in the right mind would promote such a lousy band such as the Naked Brothers? The agent from Nick must have been like tone deaf or something. My dog once bit my husband in the private area because of Nat Wolff's high pitched voice! I had to work an extra 5 hours a day just to pay for his surgery! You wanna know why? Because THE NAKED BROTHERS SUCK! I can't wait till they get this bulls*it off the damn air!

~ Jeanie Ray, Georgia, United States. FOX news, 2007.

See also[edit]

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Naked Brothers Band is part of Uncyclopedia's series on Mass Media.