Nazgul

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Nazgûl consist of the gas sauronium, in a black gauze casing. They thrive on ginger-bread cookies, and will go to any lengths to acquire some (including residing in refrigerators).

The Nazgûl fascination of all things that go round and round is well known. However, being highly volvically challenged causes them no end of troubles in this modern age. Motorcycles, carousels, fans and blenders are some of the objects which frequently have to be cleared of Nazgûl that have become stuck in them.

[edit] Famous Nazgûl

The most famous Nazgûl is Khamûl, The Shadow Of The Yamok Sauce. Originally a Cardassian elite soldier, he still retains his old battle cry of "Death to all!", although now delivered at such a high frequency of sound it is mostly mistaken for a balloon being tortured.

The figure-head of the Nazgûl movement, The Which King of Angered, has lately tried to make inroads in the highly lucrative market of Swedish dance bands. His band Sven-Angmars has been at the top of the Swedish chart Svensktoppen for 9 weeks, and Sauron has made a highly provocative video of the hit "Barad-dûr".

[edit] Modern Nazgûl

Today, Nazgul are not as elusive and 'cloak & dagger' as they were before. Following their job as agents of Darth Hitler, the nine remaining Nazgul applied for new jobs and, after a brief stint as a kabuki acting troupe, took up jobs in the United States government and currently make up the bench of the Supreme Court. While they may not be the daring ninja-esque swashbucklers they once were, the Supreme Court gig does get them custom made chairs, which are nice, and unlimited coffee. Many Nazgul use their evil aura powers to work as high-school teachers, or BDSM prostitutes. Two Nazgul also had special guest appearances in the novel Eragon portraying Ringwra- I mean, Ra'zac. However, the movie directors were forced to change these characters to Zombie monkeys with knives.

Nazgul's main source of nutrition are barbie dolls and Lady Gaga's anus.