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A pretty big "rock" right next to the smaller "rock" called Aruba.
This is a pretty big "rock" right next to the smaller "rock" called Aruba. We have a powerplant with 2 hamsters in it, which is why every 2 minutes the power goes out. We have about 5 politicians who think they are "the shit", while 2 of the 5 are governing the island from prison and 3 of them are in rehab for who the fuck knows what.
This is the hardest subject this island has ever seen, because there is no law. The only rules that have to be followed are those of Grand Theft Auto and the "Survival of the Fittest". it is kind of like a jungle, except of the jungle. There aren't any jungles on this island, it's pretty much like the sahara in the Caribbean sea for the sun never takes a fucking rest.
There is a shitty company on the island called "Aqualectra". This company won 76 rewards for best service and 44 for best reliability. They gained their popularity in the year 2005 when there was a blackout for about a week. Which is the shortest period that the electricity was gone, it's noted in the guiness book of records, yeey. Every 2 minutes the electricity goes away for about 6 minutes, which is the reason why making this article took us about 6 days, because after every sentence we had to save, the computer would shut down and after 5 minutes turn it on again, that takes about 1 minute and 30 seconds, go to this website, which takes about 15 seconds and type in ultra-fast mode.
99.9% of the people on this island have diabetes, goats not included. Sugar is for them like cocaine is for Colombians.
Curacao is also the name of a popular cocktail ingredient and paint thinner, more commonly known as 'scary blue fluid', fancy anti-freeze or aromatic crushed Smurf juice. Blue Curacao has been produced on the island for over seven hundred years, since long before it was settled by human inhabitants. The liqueur is distilled from a mixture of orange peel, sugar, seaweed, skunk weed, goat urine and the blood of Smurfs, which gives it its distinctive blue colour. It is not recommended to ever drink this while sober. Cops have blue balls.
Traffic is a subject that is well thought about. The most logical explanations can be given for the speedbumps in the roundabouts and the various roundabouts that follow eachother. But our king, Anthony Godett, didn't want an interview to explain these magnificent roads. Road workers, usually seen as retarded people, are actually the smartest of them all. Their philosophy of constructing roads is highly underestimated. They construct a road with the crapiest asphalt available. Within one week, 3 days, 7 hours, 42 minutes and 33 seconds the road will be completely worn out, seeing that driving is the most difficult task next to solving the Rubik's Cube. This way the road workers can start all over and don't become unemployed. They're running for a Nobel Prize.
Anthony Sigfried Adrianius Mugabe Godett A.K.A The King Of The Island, is a "politician" as he tends to call himself with bigger lips than Lloyd Banks and a brain not a lot bigger than my nail on my small toe (I don't have one). The people that voted for him were about 500 humans and 6.000.000.000 donkeys, which are disguised as humans and come from Pluto to make this island even crappier than it is by voting for him.
There is no name for a person coming from Curacao. How stupid is that? It's like calling Hitler a "people's person". Someone from America is an American, someone from Venezuela is a Venezuelan, someone from Curacao is someone from Curacao. No retards, Curacao-an isn't a word. ~Usally like Armenia they add -ian to the end of just about every word on Earth (try this with your friends) but in the case of what to call them lets just say that the population of 3 hasn't figured that out yet, they have however established to have 44 drinks in NY alone named after them. So we have to ask ourselfs what matters more and alcoholic drink or a name...
the drinks, lets face it after you have one of those you won't even be able to pronounce your own name so who really cares?~
There is no crime whatever and whenever. What you mean crimes? Pfff.....even killing your sibling will just give a five years sitting along with the other gays. Won't you love that? Robbery is like having hugs from your ex's, painful but you have to show the pride that you are at least rich enough to attract the muggers attention. Proud, you should be proud of that, in fact, this is a great moment to break the news to everyone and make some good friends, yes, good friends, my friend.
One of the better parts of this wonderful paradise is politics. We have the best politicians ever and have only had about 5 different governments in about 4 years. Every year there's another election because the government wasn't good enough, so every political party has led the country atleast once, because hey, taking turns is what life is all about. The political views of the politicians is pretty much like Mr. Crabs from spongebob, money money money.
Relations With Holland
The people from Curacao LOVE Holland, they're not racist AT ALL and really get allong well with them, just like hitler went well along with the jews. Anyway, so Curacao is kind of like a part of holland but about 60000 kilometers away. The villegers on the island LOVE the coffieshops in holland because then they can smoke legally, but they actually already smoke (as it is far cheaper) more here than they would in Holland, even though it's illegal, they just don't give a fuck because they know there aren't any cops that would actually stop them.They would prefer to join in.