Things America Did Not Invent
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There is a long list of things America did not invent. From the apple pie to zebras, America didn't invent them all. However, Americans believe an astonishing amount of bullshit, not the least of which is the notion that America is actually capable of producing an original idea. A classic example of this is the phrase "American as apple pie", which, along with Santa Claus, is the sort of crap parents instill in their children in the USA. (I mean, come on! Apples... crust... baking... Americans don't honestly think they were the first to make the connection, do they?) Anyway, enjoy this horribly butchered and painfully biased list.
Along with apple pie, plenty of other "American inventions" were stolen from Europe. In fact, Europeans should really consider entering a giant class-action lawsuit against the US for intellectual property rights infringement. Paradoxically it is well known that Europeans are completely devoid of intellect with the exception of Greece and France.
[edit] Things America Did Not Invent, But Thinks It Did
- Food — Many Americans are under the impression that until America came along, the world was hungry, and that America invented food, such as the previously mentioned apple pie (stolen from Britain), hot dogs (stolen from a German guy), Kumara (they stole it from New Zealand and called it sweet potatoes), hamburgers, pizza, bacon, and broccoli (thank God, it wasn't us). Did I mention apple pie?
- Terrorism - Some Americans think that George Bush invented 9/11. This conspiracy theory is wrong and simply another example of American stupidity. Even George Bush wouldn't murder thousands of civilians and destroy a huge part of the financial district of America. However America DID invent Irish Terrorism to kill British inventors.
- Sport - Baseball, golf, basketball, football (yes they invented American Football but not the real mans sport of Football).
- Language - America is well known for stealing the English Language from the British and editing it so it sounded more American. Pronunciation of words is different (hence its spelt S-E-M-I not S-E-M-E-Y-E or A-N-T-I not A-N-T-E-Y-E , Zebra not -Z-E-E-E-B-R-A. The list goes on and on. Its i-raq not eye-raq. Americans also decided to name their Toilets , "Restrooms" as many Americans decided to name another room so that they could use the excuse to rest in it.
- Technology — radio,Telephones, TV, nuclear reactor, the laser, tanks, helicopters, cars, huge cars, submarines, skyscrapers (see the Eiffel Tower), World Wide Web, and the computer. Not even the plane, it turns out. Oh dear.
- Television - The Office. True, the British had it first, but no one can deny that the American version is funnier (provided you have no sense of humour, which incidentally was invented in Britain, the Americans just butchered the 'u' in the spelling).
- Legal — capitalism, democracy, the Constitution, lame politicians (stolen from Britain), liberals, conservatives, the Declaration of Independence, America.
- Air — As full of themselves as many non-Americans view Americans as being, it's still always surprising when one comes across Americans who believe America invented air. Air, as we all know, was actually invented in Britain during the Scientific Revolution.
- "Fixed-wing aircraft" — All the Wright brothers did was put a kite together and wave mechanical wings using rusted bicycle parts, going from someone's roof to the ground (something man has been able to do since the Dark Ages). The true inventor is some Brazilian guy you've never heard of.
- Silicone boobs—Those wicked Japanese people! But it's not their fault. It's the only way those poor flat girls can get boobs.
- America — John Cabot, An Italian working for a Welshman called Richard Amerike (After whom America was named) found America, and it belonged to the British until the Yankees decided to take it by force, causing the civil war of America. To this day, any smart Americans hate the rest of the population for the vast defecit of life the USA now have, and no real history that isn't British.
- Electricity- Stolen from the Croatian scientist Nikola Tesla (David Bowie)
. To its credit, America has yet to invent a disease (except perhaps obesity). We have Africa and Asia to blame for that. Syphilis can be blamed on a hot Latina chick Christopher Columbus picked up in Puerto Rico, but that's not really America.
[edit] Things America Really Did Invent
- Toilet roll — no argument here.
- Jazz — Yes, America is home to both the fundamental sound of jazz.
- Fast Food — Yummy McDonalds,Burger King,Subway and many more great fast food restaurant's.
- Technology — Hummers and the Terminator. Just you wait. Also most of the stuff in "Technology" in the above section
- Other — Great cars, until they break down outside the dealership!
- Rap - Talking and pretending its actually music.
[edit] See Also
Stfo w/ ya book readin wordz hatah!
toilet paper is a British invention!
