New Pork City

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

New Pork City, a city located within the Porky Empire, is the empire's capital. It is run by the Pig King, known as ポーキー (Poki, Pokey, or Porky).

New Pork City's History[edit]

New Pork City began in 1337 as a Tower filled with porks of sorts. This tower would fire electrical beams into the forest below to awaken the Rikki Tiki spirits. Then Poki traveled back from the year 199x with his bastardly--I mean DASTARDLY Pig Army. They built a city of metal from that spot, and the tower became a hotel. They soon had a thriving population, with their city anthem, "NPC LOVES YOU!" nothing could go wrong.

Something Goes Wrong[edit]

Then in 1338, three bastards, and a bitch came into town. Their names were Lucas, Duster, Karen, and Boney. They entered Pork Towers and went to the basement. Karen was sidetracked by the immense amont of pornos in the basement and, being the butch that she is, took them, and masturbated to them. Boney then got wind of a cock flavored bone and began to chew on it, only to see that it was his cock that he bit. Then Duster saw this really hot chick with huge knockers. He touched her boobs and he sunk into her breasts--literaly. Meanwhile, Lucas fought Luke Skywalker in an epic battle to the death. Lucas won, pulled out the final dildo, and the Porky Empire became the United States of America.

New Pork City Today[edit]

Resturants[edit]

  • Chez La Sweat
  • Pork Du Frances

Streets[edit]

  • Sexington Avenue
  • Durory Lane
  • Burbon Street
  • Celing Street

Landmarks[edit]

  • Entire State Building
  • Christ Building
  • Pork Towers
  • Quadruplet Towers
  • Statue of Lesbians
  • Broken Bridge
  • Nintendo's Kaiser World
  • ABCNNBCBS (A division of FOX)

Related Articles[edit]