Next Friday

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Those obsessed with so-called experts should thank their lucky stars that Wikipedia does not have an article about Next Friday.

A mythological land believed to be located somewhere in southern Sumaria, Next Friday is the destination for many unpleasant things such as Mel Brooks dirty laundry, dates with that girl who smells lightly of fungus and the due date for most civics papers.

Believed to have been created as a penal colony for all things ranging from highly annoying (your appointment for a root canal) to the wrongly accused(the cleaner sock in the pair) the location of Next Friday is a secret guarded almost as closely as the actual nature of spam. Unexplainable disappearences can often be traced to the nightly migrations to Next Friday but are more often part of Oprah's evil plot for absolute domination of afternoons and pediatry.

The land of Next Friday has been most recently discribed by Captain Corilli of the USS Pedantic as "[a land of] red popscicles and mismatched socks stretching as far as the eye can see, with springs that run with coniac." Unfortunately, the validity of this statement has been called into question by many leading experts due to the Captain's well documented habit of huffing tempra paint.