Czar Nicholas II

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Nicholas II: Electric Boogaloo was an 1894 film and sequel to the 1825 film Nicholas. One of the most popular Russian films of all time, Nicholas II stayed in the theatres for an unprecedented amount of time, dominating ticket sales over all other movies in cinemas so much that its stay in theatres was nicknamed a "rule" by critics and moviegoers. The rule of Nicholas II lasted from 1894 to 1917, when it was taken out of [box] office after being outshadowed by the politically-charged film Bolsheviks, also sometimes titled Soviet. Soviet went on to form an unheardof 15 sequels, the plots of which were all so closely tied that the series earned the nickname Soviet Union.

Synopsis[edit]

Warning: The following text contains absolutely no plot details and/or endings whatsoever. Probably.

The story begins in Russia, 1868. Nicholas II tells the story of Nikolai Romanov, a simple young boy with dreams of being famous one day whose father happens to be the Emperor of Russia. His father, Alexander III, is the aforementioned Emperor. Alexander decides that Nick is lame and a wuss, and that he himself is immortal and will rule forever, and thus does nothing to prepare his son for the throne.

By a coincidence, Nick falls in love with a German princess, also named Alix, but with an "I" instead of an "E". Alix is daughter of Princess Alice of United Kingdom and Grand Duke Ludwig IV Beethoven. Alex does the whole Dad thing and disapproves of Nick's choice, instead wanting him to marry a princess of the House of New Orleans, to cement Russia's new alliance with Franceland. Alex then catches the Typhoid or the Cholera and, dying, decides Nick can marry Alix.

Now that Alex is dead, Nick takes over as King. But, Nick was a prince before this, and he could do whatever he wanted to, so all he did was sit around watching Transformers, so he believed, and still believes, that he is some kind of car, so he demands everone calls him Car Nick. Unfortunately, Nick is a terrible speller (princes have no need for school), so he ends up asking everyone to call him Czar Nick instead.

Anyway, Czar Nick goes to Japan to participate in the annual Eurasian Emperor Battle Royale wrestling match, but is attacked by a goth anarchist. He is almost killed, but his cousin, Prince George of Jungle, saves him by scissor-kicking the Jap in the neck. Nick returns to Russia, hating Japan and everything in it or around it.

World War I happens. Russia is unprepared, but for some reason, Nick immediately orders an attack on their former ally East Prussia (Russia is at war with East Prussia. Russia has always been at war with East Prussia.) because they totally copied Russia's name and added a P. Russia loses miserably, but later has success against the spaceborne Astro-Hungarian and Automan forces (the latter being led by famous superhero/automobile enthusiast, Automan).

Anyway, Germany and Astro-Hungary start closing in on Russia over east. Russia was doing really bad, so Nick felt it was his duty to lead the army directly. So he fires the experienced, respected and bearded commander-in-cheif of the army, his uncle, also named Nick, and takes over.

With Nick gone in charge of the war, he leaves things in the hands of Alix. Overseas, Nick has no idea that the people (already disliking Alix for being German) were getting upset at her continuing influence from her psychic, Greg Ratspudding. Nick decides not to censor the newspapers, so rumours and accusations about Alix and Greg are flyin' all over the place. Angry at the little-to-no damage Greg is doing to Russia in the war, a bunch of dukes and counts and stuff, headed by this guy Prince Felix, kills him.

Nick is still away while his country goes to waste. With his inability to have food and drinks and stuff like that in Russia, a bunch of people start striking all over the country. As anger towards the government increases and rebels such as British musician John Lenin preach ideologies about a proletariat uprisings and control by the popular collective, and strikes and riots begin overpowering the police and armed forces, feelings of revolution begin springing up throughout the country, and it seems like the upcoming takeover from the people is inevitable and unstoppable, the movie ends, leaving the viewer to assume that the royalists quelled the wave of communism, and Tsarist Russia continued on forever.