Ninglight
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“It's an inconvenient truth.”
~ Al Gore on ninglight's existence
[edit] Lightning...but not!
- Ninglight is a natural phenomenon. It's so rare that it's only been reportedly seen four times in the history of humanity. Other cases are sure to have happened, but no one has reported them.
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"At the first glance you may think "OH, that's lightning"...But it ain't." |
You may be wondering "What exactly is ninglight?". Well you see, ninglight is lightning that shoots out from the ground. When asked to explain this rare natural marvel, scientist Bill Nye (the science guy) said "Well, it seems that ninglight only occurs when the area's sewer gators have too much gas. The vapors from their toxic flatulence react with human wastes. The chemical reaction festers for a good day or two before the ninglight orb has formed. Most of the time the ninglight orb is destroyed by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or sewer rats. But, occasionaly the ninglight orb gets enough time to fully charge and emerge through an escape, usually through sewer caps. The four times that ninglight has struck, the ninja turtles were too busy fighting off evil bastards." When Michelangelo was asked about the incidents he said, "Dude, I was so pissed when we missed that ninglight orb...I want some pizza!"
There has been one case of ninglight striking a person. Luckily the person survived with minor burns on his asshole and he wet himself.
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| You can clearly see the victim has wet himself. That's one of the effects of the shock of ninglight. |
Ninglight is devastating to any place it occurs. It usually causes massive fires. It hit a very rural area in northern California but it was recorded as an earthquake because people who felt it's effects didn't quite know what it was. Ninglight was thought to be responsible for many forest fires and cases of "jewish lightning" (more commonly known as arson). Ninglight may also have been the cause for random gargantuan potholes in streets.
- Ninglight is commonly confused with lightning
- Many people don't believe in ninglight as people don't believe in UFO's. Contrary to people's disbelief's, ninglight is real. It's rare, but no less real. Al Gore states, "Ninglight is as real as the sun that shines! It's also becoming more of threat due to global warming! We need to do something about it. The increasing temperature causes the ninglight orb to form faster. It's melting! Why is it snowing in April?"
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