Ninja Pirate Island
“In Soviet Russia, Ninja Pirate Island lives on YOU!!”
Ninja Pirate Island is the most intellectually, geographically, and spasmatically advanced country in the universe. While it is unknown to the general populace to why it is such a thriving country, scientists claim that it could come from the sheer awesomness of pirates and ninjas working together under the same island. It is currently at war with the not so thriving Samurai Cowboy Island.
Settlers first found this island in 1504 when a group of Incans crash landed to escape the wrath of Pizzaro and his men. What they found was the equivalent of Atlantis, except it was much cooler and it wasn't under water. The Incans were greeted by swift, powerful ninjas and happy, scruffy bearded pirates who took them into the capital, Pininjarite City. What they saw were indoor plumbing, outdoor plumbing, jetpack propelled lasers, katanna powered pollution free sailbot cars, The Ninja Pirate A-Team, and many more amazing inventions that continue to boggle the mind to this day. Ninja Pirate Island was generally left alone until the mid 1800's when the poorer, more inferior Samurai Cowboy Island waged what would be a centuries-spanning war against Ninja Pirate Island. The only reason that Samurai Cowboy Island has not fallen yet to the power of Ninja Pirate Island is because of the incredibly high birthrate of Samurais and the money the cowboys have been able to get from the worldwide profits of Brokeback Mountain and John Wayne movies to fuel their war machine. In 1975, Ninja Pirate Island had their first Democratic election.
Ninja Pirate Island Today
President Chuck Norris and Vice President Ben Stiller are the current presidents and are on their 1st year of their 4th term. Ninja Pirate Island has become part of the IDA or the Island Defense Alliance, which is made up of Indonesia, Micronesia, and Anothernesia. The Chief Export of Ninja Pirate Island is raw awesome while its main imports are iron, and cloths used to make eyepatches. Just recently a mad pirate bomber not from Ninja Pirate Island bombed NPI International Airport. While he did manage to damage the airport itself, he did not hurt any ninjas or pirates because they threw ninja stars and pirate hooks into his arse, killing him instantaneously.
Ninjas and Pirates Working Together?
Ninja Pirates are more than a hybrid, they are a new species.
THE NPI Anthem
No one knows it because they were katasabred (a Ninja pirate weapon combining the Katana and the Sabre) before they finished hearing it, but is thought to be called: 'All ye scallywags was kung fu fighting'.
The NPI Flag is a vast representation of the intricate relationship between ninjas and pirates alike by showing a picture of Emperor Hiroto Scurvey, the most accomplished leader of NPI behind Chuck Norris. The background is in his favorite color, black.
NPI Space Program
Like mythical Sparta, there is no distinction between the privately-funded space program and the government-funded space program.
Enemies of NPI
Like all bountiful nations, Ninja Pirate Island has a huge amount of enemies that it has accumulated over the years. They include:
- Pirate Ninja Island
- Ninjas who are not from NPI
- Pirates who are not from NPI
- Pirate-Ninja War- a conflict that also took place on an island
- Samurai Cowboy Island
- Skateboard Enthusiasts
- Rosie O'Donnell
- Fat People
- Bill Clinton
- The Current cast of Saturday Night Live
- That fat guy from Jackass
- Timothy Leary
- International Space Station
- Your Mom
- Hillary Clinton
- Rubixs cubes
Rulers of Ninja Pirate Island in Chronological Order
While we do not know who any of the leaders were before first contact, we managed to find out whot hey were after and to this day. They are split up into dynasties before they became of a democracy.
- The Miyazaki Dynasty, 1504-1628
- The Scurvey Dynasty, 1628-1770
- The Speed Racer Dynasty, 1770-1900
- The Depp Dyansty, 1900-1975
- President Keanu Reeves, 1975-1980
- President Jesse Jackson, 1980-1989 (Was assassinated in his 3rd Term)
- President Samuel L. Jackson, 1989-1991 ( Left office after a battle for power against Chuck Norris/Master Chief, Hitler, 20 grues, an Emo kid, and <insert name here>. See Samuel L. Jackson's article for more info.)
- President Chuck Norris, 1991-Current (When Chuck is off beating people up and Stiller is making a movie, world renowned retarded Ninja Pirate Eon O'Cacaface is president, and his pet walrus Strawberry Connecticut Sanford Sans acts as vice president.)