No Liability Company

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“There is no cabal. Go away.”

~ Oscar Wilde on No Liability Company


NLC, or No Liability Company, is a further extension of concept of resticting legal liability of large entities, pioneered by Corporation and Limited Liability Company ownership forms. Typically NLC own enough force that it is easier for them to destroy one if he bothers them too much, rather than carry any legal liability. This status is granted to companies having power projection capabilities comparable to an average European nation, and at least one confirmed event of eliminating the opposition company in one week after their lawsuit is filed. Lawsuits filed against No Liability Companies are recycled, though you will never learn that.

History[edit]

Germany[edit]

The NLC concept was created in the beginning of The Second World War II due to actions of Porsche, Junkers, Krupp and other strong German companies. When some Polish company filed a lawsuit against Porsche at August 31, 1939, the German corporate consortium captured Poland, destroyed the plaintiff and so smartly avoided facing the charges.

Soon, they were sued by other European nations for capturing their assets in Poland. As plaintiffs fell one by one, it was soon decided that it's easier to consider German corporations exempt from the law.

White House Pimping, LLC[edit]

White House Pimping, LLC has received the status in 1999, being a mere Limited Liability Company before. The NLC status was connected to a small scandal, started after a multi-ton shipment from Belgrad to the White House labeled "Bulk preteen slut" was discovered to belong to the White House Pimping, LLC. The representatives of Serbian religious and morality organization formed the Serbians Against Pedophilia, an organization aimed at banning international teenager and preteen prostitute trade, or at least driving public opinion against corporations involved in it. However, in 4 hours after the lawsuit was received by the court, White House Pimping, LLC agent from Kosovo planted RDX inside the supports of the building owned by the organization, and then shot the few people who managed to crawl outside. Soon the court was informed that neither the address of the Serbians Against Pedophilia was valid any longer, nor any of their staff were alive, and so the lawsuit was dismissed.

The decision was appealed by the government of Serbia, but the response of Lockheed Martin, Raytheon and Boeing led to dismissal of the appeal as well. This also allowed to cover up the then-arising scandal around increasingly close ties between White House Pimping, LLC and the United States Government.

Microsoft[edit]

White House Pimping is not the fastest company to achieve No Liability Company status, however. That record belongs to the case "Thomas Jenningson Networks vs. Microsoft and US Postal Office: Anti-trust laws application to monopolization of communications and data storage industries", where the lawsuit didn't even reach the court.

Thomas Jenningson Networks filed tons of evidence of all communications monopolization by Microsoft, Internet and USPO, which has almost put his once prosperous company out of business. However, just half an hour after it was filed, as the post office was processing the mail, it turned out that Thomas Jenningson Networks had never existed, their employees have never been born or registered anywhere, and the apartments they were supposedly registered in have never been sold or rented. Furthermore, the IP address the company claimed to have was never allocated, the web domain "thomasjenningsonnetworks.com" always belonged to a link farm, and their Uncyclopedia entry was written by an anonymous IP which was blocked indefinitely per WP:BALLS, and was never allocated anyway.