No idea

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(This article is shit. Good luck editing it)

No idea is like an 'idea' only overtly pessimistic and has taking to writing poetry, wearing black finger nail polish and listening to the Smiths played backwards.

Apparantly its not possible to have 'no idea' because you will then be having an 'idea' of having 'no idea'. The idea of having no-idea is a idealistic ideholcolism for the idle kids. This is patent bullpoo and is probably why 'no idea' is so depressed. To emphasize my point here you can obviously see I have 'no idea' what I am writing, what time I am going to Camden Town, or indeed what purpose the word 'indeed' serves and why I am so addicted to crack... Why am I so addicted to crack?

Anyway.

I intend to prove that I have 'no idea' by showing that history is littered with people with 'no idea' indeed.

[edit] A Brief History

Plato and Zeno were waiting for a bus on their way to a party and Zeno turned to Plato and said 'Do you know what time the W3 will arrive?', Plato then turned and said 'I have no idea' and ceased to exist along with his beard.

Later on Nietzche and Jesus were discussing who was going out to the shops to buy some bread because apparantly they only had fish and wine for the party - I mean! - and whilst they were in the midst of discourse Nietzche said to Jesus...

'Do you know how much bread costs?'

'I have no idea' said Jesus.

'But you cant have no idea because then you would be having an idea of having no idea' said Nietzche.

'Yes I can' said Jesus.

'No you cant' said a mildly dyslexic Neitzche.

'Oh yes I can' said Jesus.

'Im sorry but no idea cant exist' said Nietzche, and was adamant.

'You fucking take that back you cunt! No idea does exist, i know him he's a manic depressive that wears black finger nail polish innit' said Jesus.

Then they had a massive punch up that made them both millions in pay per view revenue.

'That was a Good idea!' said Nietzche, 'Now we have some money to go and buy some bread'.

'Bugger that!' said Jesus 'Lets go buy some crack and some party hats'

Meanwhilst...

Gandhi and Hitler were in Camden trying to score some crack for the party. They weren't having much luck.

Hitler turned to Gandhi and said 'What do you think of western civilization you hippy?'

Gandhi said 'I think that it would be a Good idea!

'What do you mean by that?' questioned Hitler aggressively.

'No idea no idea' said Gandhi, because he knew what Hitler was like.

'Oh dont give me all that, your a big boy, you know what you said'

Gandhi started meditating.

'Meditate on that!' shouted Hitler, kicking Gandhi squarely in the bollocks.

Gandhi began spinning very rapidly, disappeared and reappeared behind Hitler spewing flames from his mouth and engulfing Hitler in flames. When questioned about Hitler's absence later on at the party Gandhi said 'oh him, he wanted to come but he was completely burned out' with a wry smile.

'Good' said Stalin 'That bloke was shot in the head'

This caused slight embarrassment amongst some of the revellers, especially David Hume, who was currently playing four player Goldeneye with Frank, Frank and Jack the Ripper, he was desperately trying to explain that you cant have 'no ideas' without impressions. Everybody had 'no idea' what he was talking about, which was quite mirthful, especially when Jack the Ripper sniped him in the head again, and he flew up exasparated and threw the control pad at Frank's bollocks (Nobody throws the control pad at Jack for some reason), and screeched at Frank - who incidentally is the very same Frank in the giant rabbit's costume from Donnie Darko - 'Donnie Darko... Donnie fucking Darko eh? What the fuck is all that about eh? I have no idea! I have no idea! nobody does you giant rabbit cunt!'

Zeno arrived complaining that Plato was 'always bloody disappearing' and moaning that he had to buy all the bloody booze, which everybody remarked was kind of strange because Zeno had never got there.

(end of the Tangent Universe)
...
(quick flight between scenes)
-Hey, what's that sound?
-I have no idea, sounds like a jet engine...