Nonce Sense

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Phil Collins Spokesman for Nonce Sense - ironically, dressed as a nonce

A group dedicated to hunting down all paedophiles, suspected paedophiles, possible paedophiles, people who look like they may be paedophiles, those who have jobs that sound like the word "paedophile", and those who are not involved with the hunting down of paedophiles.

[edit] Founders/Primary Sponsors

An alliance of UK tabloids (Daily Mail, Daily Express, Daily Sport, The Sun, Split, etc.), Sky News, ITV, Trisha and Robert Kilroy-Silk formed Nonce Sense with the aim of selling more papers and increasing ratings by whipping up suspicion and hate in the public, while feeding the base instincts that they claim to police.

[edit] Celebrity Endorsements

  • Phil Collins - "I'm talking Nonce-Sense"
  • Dr. Fox - "Genetically, paedophiles have more genes in common with crabs than they do with you or me. Now that's scientific fact. There's no real evidence for it but it is scientific fact."
  • Richard Blackwood - "Online paedophiles can actually make your keyboard release toxic vapours that make you suggestible. (sniffs keyboard) You know I must say I actually feel more suggestible and that's just from one sniff."
Beware HOECS
  • Kate Thornton - "HOECS games can cause serious damage. One child was trapped online for a whole night and, according to a psychiatric report, came away with the jaded listless sexual appetite of a 60-year-old colonel.But who believes a woman who claimed to marry Dale Winton....."

[edit] Enforcement Arm

Nonce Sense has employed and empowered the Paedofinder-General to hunt down and kill this scum.

The Paedofinder-General has commissioned and empowered the Paedo Muncher to hunt down and consume the most nefarious of paedos. Interestingly, the Muncher reports that paedos taste like crab...and he likes crab!

The Paedo Muncher

The liberal types are however fighting for a new bill of 'equality' which extends to allowing paedophiles to work with children, and teaching children of paedo-rights - and punishing any contempt they have of those childmolesting scumbags.

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