Noob Saibot
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“pwn3d! w00t! lol!”
~ Random fat guy on his twin Noob Saibot
“All hail the N00b Saibot!!”
~ Chitu on N00b saibot
“TOASTIE!!!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Noob Saibot
“You gotta press up+start when you hear toastie and some dumbass whiteguy wearing a purple shirt appears at the btm left side of screen”
~ Oscar Wilde on Noob Saibot
“He is a threat to America!”
~ George W. Bush on everyone, including Noob Saibot
“Hey, bro. Did you by any chance borrow my condoms?”
~ Sub zero on N00b saibot
“But this guy is way worser than Scorpion!”
~ Sasuke on Noob Saibot
“Hey!! I can prove he is my negative!!”
~ Tobias Boon on Noob Saibot
Noob Saibot is the first Grandmaster of the n00bz, an ancient Brotherhood dedicated to pawning every posers ass! Noob Saibot, is hailed as the ultimate n00b. When you are called a n00b, they are giving you a compliment, as they are saying you have the skills to be the ultimate Kombatant, Noob Saibot. Noob Saibot is also known to be a flaming homo, as are his followers. He was most famous for assasinating 14th U.s. President Dwight Eisenhower.
Note: Noob Saibot is not Tobias Boon backwards or an anagram of aoiobbonts.
Note: Noob Saibot is not to be confused with Nude Decide-bot, a product designed to assist in tough decisions while also providing a handy knob for hanging garments or simply poking.
Note: The fact that Noob Saibot may or may not be Tobias Boon backwards shows how much the creators of the man were lazy fucks.
The following information is about his step brother - Noob Smoke - although he does not admit that he smokes. Jason Low is also a noob, in fact, he is one of the biggest black guys in the history of the earth. His Maple Story account is on Bera by the name of AznSlayer20. He goes to EVHS! He is a helluva black guy. Any pro can tell that the name is BLACK GUY! Jason low is a BLACK GUY!!!!!!! No offense, Jason, if your reading this, but you are a helluva BLACK GUY!!!!! (Editors note: if you are playing maplestory you are probably a bl4ck guy) Justin kenney once killed N00b saibot, but was alsodefeated because of using too much power. Justin is said to be seen during the full moon as a zombie...And scorpion's Father.
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[edit] Noob Smoke
Baron William Fo´ Shizzle von Nettlemeir, who goes by the pseudonym Noob Saibot, is an infamous internaut. He is well known for his ill mannored behaviour on any web forum he posts on.
[edit] Nude Saibot
Noob Saibot is consistently mistaken for his retarded cousin, Nude Saibot.
[edit] The Early Years
In 1985, at the age of 16 Noob received his first computer (a Tandy 2000 which was a birthday gift from his parents). He immediately found himself drawn to the BBS subculture. He adopted the name Noob Saibot later that year, for reasons unknown. A pioneer of the war calling technique, he randomly dialed numbers hoping to find a computer with a bulletin board to post on. While he often had no insight into the topic being discussed, he felt a strange compulsion to let his opinion be heard. In several instances he would post over 1000 messages on a board consisting only of the phrase "I agree and if you think I'm wrong you're a moron!".
[edit] The World Wide Web
In 1991 Noob (now a PhD candidate in computer science at Berkeley) read Tim Berners-Lee's summary of the World Wide Web project on the alt.hypertext newsgroup. He instantly became enamoured with the idea and dedicated himself to the development of the idea. His contributions were integral to the evolution of the WWW to the form we are familiar with today. In particular, he is credited with the concept of the web forum (an extension of his fixation on BBS posting).
On May 13, 1993 was attacked by a group of Microsoft goons for his outspoken opinions that the WWW should remain an uncommercialized forum for freely expressing ideas. During the assault he sustained a significant brain injury. As a result of his injuries, he often made significant errors and ommissions in his future posts (eg. spelling 'you' as 'U').
Angered by his poor treatment at the hands of the Microsoft Corporation, he began to develop a technique for attacking other computers over the internet: a technique he called HaXorZ (better known as hacking).
It is during this period he became a mentor to his most famous student, Leeroy Jenkins.
[edit] The 1337 Revolution
| n00biness |
| Uncyclopedia n00bs |
| Other n00bs |
In 1996, Noob used his hacker genius to create the cult game Mortal Kombat (the K in combat is yet another example of Noob's trademark typing style). When he came across a forum where the members were discusscinaging their skills in the game, Noob attempted to declare himself the elite master. He accidentally forgot the E and declared himself the leet master. When editing the post to fix his mistake he noticed that the letters of leet looked very much like the numbers 1337. Instead of adding the missing E, he changed his title to the self declared 1337 master and thus 1337 speak was born.
[edit] Pwning Noob
When Canada invaded Poland and freed the Warsaw prisoners, Noob was pwned so bad, that he simply could not continue his work in MK. This high degree of pwning became known as "pwning Noob." Noob soon became a noun used to denote all those not worthy of internet use. Very soon, everyone would be "pwning a noob." Later, Benito Mussolini noticed that the o's in "noob" looked much like 0's. Thus, the term n00b was formed. Nowadays, "pwning a n00b" is the modern equivalent of slaying a dragon back in 1999. Respectively, being "pwned by a n00b" is the modern equivalent of being a female in the Middle East.
Also more recently, A man named IPwndYoU_666_1337 who was a Well respected Runescape member. Suddenly Discovered that eve though he was a member and level 178 that he was a real n00b. He discovered this because he couldn't call people n00bs. Whenever he tried to type the word n00b to a player it would come out as n44b. He was ridiculed for a long time about this... untill..... He discovered the magic of this, he thought he was sooo so 1337 that he had invented the new insult N44B (naab) which he could use to insult players he didn't like !
Unfortunatly IPwndYoU_666_1337 was a REAL N00B and was a piece of shit..... he was the real N44B
[edit] The Beginnings
Cloned on Genesis, nOOb Saibot was created with one purpose: to eliminate all Jedi and necropost all forum threads as n0O0bingly possible. To this end, he was equipped with an uber DE10, and issued 3 BFG9000s. And so it began. He pwned millions of jedi, including fight club FRS uber jedi, using only his pinky as a weapon. Then he began a reign of terror, necroposting all threads on all servers, trade forums, profession forums, guild forums, other game forums, religious and news forums, special interest groups, top secret pentagon forums, and then posting the necronomicon. Soon all ur forumz belong 2 him.
[edit] The Middles
Having achieved world domination through spam, nOOOb Saibot joined up with ytmnd to basically find new stuff to post. Having been granted the secrets of all, he revealed them slowly, through nonsensical tomfoolery, until one day, all hell broke loose. Vince McMahon, being drunk and weary, decided that the Undertaker was better off as a biker, rather than the zombie we all know and love. This brought about the wrath of nOOOb Saibot, who proceeded to wail on a guitar with a boner, leading an army of ninjas and hippos in song. This made the world end, so it's surprising that you're around to actually read this.
[edit] New Beginnings, hold the Middles, and stick this in your End
Living in the vacuum he created, nOOOb Saibot quickly turned into an insane, maniacal Emo Rapper, the first of his kind Ev4R. With no internet access to quell his rampant dwellings on past forum wars, he proceeded to write the nOOOb National Anthem:
This is why I'm Saibot This is why I'm Saibot This is why This is why This is why I'm Saibot
I pwn cuz I'm 1337 U nerf cuz u not This is why This is why This is why I'm Saibot I pull up to a waypoint Whip out my DE10 Pwn j00 in ur f4c3 Now you wanna be my friend I'm rollin past the pen Some twileks hop in Then I kick them out Cuz I know they're all shims This is why I'm Saibot I pwn all the time All ur momz belong 2 me And ur guild is now mine How about shuting the hell up Hitler sieg heil
[edit] Noob Sailor
Noob Saibot is secretly a Sailor Scout known as Noob Sailor. His weapon is a giant boner made of pure energy, and he wears green contacts. Various pass times of Noob Saibot include:
painting his nipples green to scare his brothers...
help sub zero cook at room temperature (use your imagination what it could be)
sub zero and Noob cool off at the nearest polar ice cap on a hot winter night...
sub zero and Noob enjoy gay sex in a cozy freezer...
Noob Saibot and Tobias Boon cross galactic vortexes just to interchange their names and give each other a good time while doing it
