Norwegian freecarpenter lodge
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“Dammed. I think I'm gonna watch some porn and eat cheesedoodles with these folks”
~ George Bush on Norwegian Freecarpenter Lodge
“No! No! Nononononononononono!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Norwegian Freecarpenter Lodge
“shickashickashickashicka - hooba gabba drop my pants and show me your titties!”
~ Captain Sinnsfrisk on Norwegian Freecarpenter Lodge
The Norwegian Freecarpenter Lodge (NFSL) is an organisation founded by Seraphim in 1743, after he discovered the secret of immortality. The organisation grew quickly, and by 1647 they were estimated to be over 5 members.
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[edit] Early days
After beeing founded, several famous Norwegian persons joined. The organisation was quickly banned by the church and the porn industry, mostly because their power increased and their heretic worship of Eris and Judas.
[edit] The lodge grows
During the 1890s a famous norwegian philosopher, Thales, joined. Most freecarpenters agree that this was the reason for the sudden appearance of naked women in the lodge. Later, when Captain Sinnfrisk and Beef Fart joined, porn and cheesedoodles was not an uncommon sight in their weekly rituals. Ubu, the prime minister of a banana repbublic he won in a lottery in a chapel, is one of the key members today. He is known for beeing Thales little bitch. Gguru, a famous rock star playing in a band named Hindenbürg Rock & Grill , is also a key member. Nobody in the lodge really knows what the others do, who's in charge or their full purpose.
[edit] Chicks
After Thales allowed naked chicks in the lodge, they figured out that, hey, what the heck, why not allow female members. Today 20% of the lodge is chicks, most of them with big boobs.
[edit] Lodge rules
Using real names are now allowed, as they are secret. The reason for this secrecy is unknown, but some sources claims that the church had a guy named "poop" or something like that, who demanded that any persons involved in the lodge was doomed to get gonorrhea and burn in hell after beeing castrated by a rusty potato peeler.
[edit] Esoteric teachings
The details about their esoteric teachings is not known to public, except that cognitive dissonance is used as a tool for achieving contact with the lower self.
[edit] NFSL quick facts
- NFSL did in fact not, as some have stated, invent dynamite, but the founding members were evidently present at the big bang. And, by most accounts, all ready obscenely drunk (hence the big bang).
- All members of the NFSL know what you did last summer, and most of them approve.
- The reason for establishing the NFSL in Norway of all places, back in 1743, was so the main, international organisation could leech off some of the infamous Norwegian Oil Money. So far, this project is down the hole by about 500 grand (danois, as it were). Still, it is an impressive acchievement that demonstrates great vision and foresight, since the Norwegian Oil was not discovered until 1969 in a freak fishing accident involving a rather large harpoon.
- None - NOT ONE! - of the countless, or at least uncounted, members of the NFSL are born on June 6th. Coincidence? We should think so!
- At least two long-time members and contributants to the NFSL are raging homosexuals bent on sodomy and anal exploration, so all others should beware. Incidently, this is a superb excuse for not getting off one's ass while attending working sessions and meetings.
- There is no known association between the apperarance of the NFSL, the disappearance of Elvis and the consecutive reinvention of Cheese Doodles. None at all!
- With blatant disregard for the Truth, most NFSLers will, when confronted, claim that they are innocuous until proven quilty.
- Discordianism is unprobably the most misused reason stated to explain why everything (well, not _every_ thing, but at least a fair-sized portion) turned out as it did.
- For outsiders, life's a bitch, and then, maybe, you die. Fnord indeed.
- Someone(TM) will have to do something(TM) about this. So far it is undisclosed whom.
