Notary Public
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A Notary Public is some guy who speaks really fast when you are in court to annoy and confuse a person who commited a crime(That's a defendant, for all you idiots out there). Example dialouge between a witness and a notary public:
NOTARY:please raise your right hand
(witness raises right hand like a good boy)
NOTARY:Doyouswertotellthetruthonlythetruththegoddamntruththerealtruthandnothingbutthegoodoldfashionedfuckingtruthorgodwilldamnyourenternalsoultohellforeverandeverandeverandever?
DEFENDANT:WHAT?
JUDGE:Defendant is found guilty,30 years of hard time and prison rape for you!
Notaries are often paid a very large amount of money to do this, and it's all legal, thanks to this F'ed Up Nation.
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