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- 10,000 B.C. - Humans begin destroying the forest, driving out bears and things.
- 832 - Saint Anselm is permabanned from the Vatican for setting fire to the Pope.
- 1915 - French Army phases out custard pies as infantry weapons, replaces them with hand-buzzers.
- 1932 - William Butler Yeats marries his dog Chico.
- 1972 - Mediocre Britain votes on whether to join the European Community, turnout extremely low.
- 1978 - While starring in an open air production of Shakespeare's Henry V, Sir John Gielgud is carried off by a hunting kingfisher. He is found unharmed some hours later, having tricked the bird into incubating his egg-like head.
- 1992 - The title of worlds first penguin to eat rocks was taken by Magiwatoo. A penguin from the north east of Columbian waters.
- 1990 - The first webcomic is launched, entitled Two Sarcastic Badgers and Some Clipart.
- 2009 - It is officially announced that the language of Liverpool is Quack. Every Liverpudlian goes quackin crazy.
- 2015 - The French get tired of rioting, someone quacks for comedic value, rioting ensues.
- 2063 - Jacob von Hogflume, inventor of Time travel, is born in a log cabin in 1864.