Nude shower scenes

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The infamous shower scene in Psycho

Porky's contains one of the best-known nude shower scenes, but so many other films, both on the silver screen and the small screen, also depict naked women showering, individually or in groups, that Oscars and Enemas may be created to honor the actresses (men seldom appear in such scenes) who doff their clothes in the interests of art, entertainment, and voyeurism. This handy dandy guide to nude shower scenes will be a handy dandy guide to have on hand during the presentations of future Oscars and the Emmys for nude shower scenes.

Earliest[edit]

One of the earliest nude shower scenes occurred in Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho, in which misogynistic transvestite Norman Bates slices and dices Jamie Lee Curtis' mom, Janet Leigh (or, actually, except for the hands, shoulders, and head, a stand-in for her). Although not much flesh is shown in this scene, the camera's erotic erratic movements and that screeching music makes it seem as if the voyeur viewer has seen much more than was actually shown (which is mostly Leigh's double’s head and shoulders, arms, back, and legs). In one brief flash (of film, not knife), the viewer gets a glimpse of Leigh's surrogate’s upper torso, but, alas, her arm is crossed over her breasts, ostensibly to protect herself from Bate's knife, but really to block the gaze of the voyeuristic viewer. In another shot, Hitchcock allows the moviegoer a shot of Leigh's stand-in’s midriff, but this is nothing more than one could have seen, even in the 1960's, when the movie was made, on any beach. Nevertheless, the viewer remains focused, hoping, or even praying, that a moment's exhibition of boob or butt may reward such attentiveness. Alas, such hopes and prayers are in vain. In eroticism, as in horror, Hitchcock’s philosophy was the same: less is more.

Homage and Tribute (in no particular order because Uncyclopedia writers are lazy and incompetent, but what do you expect for free?)[edit]

Hollywood loves the words “homage” and “tribute” because, directors believe, the use of these words allows them to violate copyrights and plagiarize to their dark hearts’ content, all in the guise of paying “homage” or “tribute” to a predecessor.

I, Robot[edit]

Thus, even Will Smith’s naked shower scene in I, Robot, is called a “tribute” to Hitchcock, despite a few obvious differences:

  • Leigh (and her body double) were women; Smith, allegedly, is a man.
  • Leigh (and her body double) were white; Smith, allegedly, is African-American.
  • Leigh (and her body double) show none of their naughty bits; Smith, allegedly, treats viewers to the full monty (although, thank goodness, the director had enough sense to have him digitally castrated for American audiences).

Grey’s Anatomy[edit]

ABC’s soap opera, Grey’s Anatomy, owes its shower scene, between threesome Meredith, Izzy, and Cristina to three factors (none of them Bill O'Reilly or to the show's plot, as far as anyone actually knows):

  • Low ratings
  • The fact that its title contains the word “anatomy”
  • The perceived need to pay “homage” to Hitchcock

Dressed to Kill[edit]

As age starts to have its way with her face and figure, Angie Dickinson doffed her clothes in Dressed to Kill, which, obviously, should have been called Undressed to Kill, to prove that she still has a face and a figure and to pay “tribute” to Hitchcock. Again, though, someone else appeared in the shower scene instead of the 40-plus-year-old Dickinson, whose face and figure showed the effects of gravity’s 40-plus-year-old influence upon her.

Smallville[edit]

Kristen Kreuk (Lana Lang on TV’s Smallville for those who missed her) got naked in a shower scene to prove that she has breasts, that she is hot, and to pay tribute to Hitchcock, of whom the 23-year-old actress had never heard.

Grudge[edit]

Although she has promised America and the rest of the world never to appear naked on a film, Sarah Michelle Gellar has already appeared topless on Saturday Night Live, holding her own breasts, and, pretending to be somebody named Karen in a shower scene in The Grudge. Fortunately, she had the decency not to show audiences her bare body, which, even her husband Freddy Kreuger What’s-His-Name, finds “repulsive.” Allegedly, Gellar exhibited her penchant for pedophilia as well as her nakedness by repeatedly asking the fim’s director to let young Yuya Ozeki share the moment with her: “Don't you think you should see little Toshio in his underwear, looking up while Karen's in the shower?”

Porky’s[edit]

The producers of Porky’s loved Hitchcock so well that they decided to pay homage to him with not just one, but several, bathing beauties. The same became the norm for a while, with Carrie and other films, showing their fondness for Hitchcock and their consequent need to pay “tribute” to him multiple times within a single film frame.

Barney the Dinosaur[edit]

This is a little known fact, but in one of Barney's episodes, he too joined the long line of nude shower sceners. During the episode on hygene, Barney exposes himself to millions of children, hundreds of paedophiles, and three nerds with big glasses when he gets into the shower. After a long court argument, Barney was put on hiatus for a short period and must now wear a Dinosaur outfit whilst partaking in any of his shows.

There have been calls for Barney be exercuted by firing squad but due to endangerd nature of his species the calls have been put to rest by the supreme court.

Others[edit]

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Nude shower scenes.

There are plenty of other films and TV shows that include nude shower scenes, but Uncyclopedia's writers are too damned lazy to include more than the ones already mentioned, so, taking the high road, the online uncyclopedia will say simply that this article references only the "most outstanding" and "significant" of such scenes and that, by implication, all the remaining ones are just there for the sake of mindless titillation. Of course, having said written that, some idiot will still want to delete this article because it’s too short in the shorts or will add a bunch of moronic material just to “pad” the thing, as if it were a bra instead of an article written by experts. Oh, well, such is a day in the life of a Wiki.

Mandatory List[edit]

No Uncyclopedia (or, for that matter, Wikipedia) article can be considered complete (it's the law) unless it contains at least relatively long list. (What is "relatively long" varies from person to person, of course, with women claiming "nine inches" while men assert that "anything more than 3 1/2 inches" is "relatively long.") Here's the official Mandatory List for this article. Women (and, less frequently, men) have appeared nude, or naked, in these films:

  • Angel Fist - supposedly a movie about kickboxing, but really a film full of nude shower scenes.
  • Bad Girls' Dormitory - supposedly a movie about female inmates who escape from a sadistic warden and her ganf, but really a film full of nude shower scenes.
  • Bikini Hoe Down - supposedly a movie about team of bikini models, but really a film full of nude shower scenes.
  • Busted - supposedly a movie about policing prostitutes, but really a film full of nude shower scenes.
  • Caged Hearts - supposedly a movie about lesbian rape, but really a film full of nude shower scenes.
  • Carrie - supposedly a movie about peer pressure, bullying, and the revenge of a telekinetic nerd, but really a film full of nude shower scenes.
  • Cellblock Sisters - supposedly a jailhouse movie, but really a film full of nude shower scenes.
  • Chained Heat 2 - supposedly a movie about how an innocent woman is sent to a Czech prison, where the sadistic warden and guards rape and perform bizarre sex acts on the prisoners, but really a film full of nude shower scenes.
  • Destroyer supposedly a movie about nude shower scenes, but really a film full of nude shower scenes.
  • Fatal Games - suppodedly a movie about psychotic athletes, but really a film full of nude shower scenes.
  • Hot Times (a. k. a. My Erotic Fantasies) - supposedly a parody of Archie Comics, but really a film full of nude shower scenes.
  • Hot Times At Montclair High' (you shoulda been!) - supposedly a movie about super-sexed high schoolers, but really a film full of nude shower scenes.
  • Immoral Tales - supposedly a movie about sex, but really a film full of nude shower scenes.
  • Invisible Maniac - supposedly a movie about applied physics, but really a film full of nude shower scenes.
  • Just One of the Girls - supposedly a movie about a transsexual, but really a film full of nude shower scenes.
  • Lovelines -
  • The Man Who Wasn't Here - supposedly a movie about the 1980's, but really a film full of nude shower scenes.
  • Meatballs 4 - supposedly a movie about spaghetti westerns, but really a film full of nude shower scenes.
  • Nuns of the Run - supposedly a movie about a nunnery, but really a film full of nude shower scenes.
  • Porky's - supposedly a movie about a pug sty, but really a film full of nude shower scenes.
  • Pretty Cool - supposeldly a movie about global warming, but really a film full of nude shower scenes.
  • Private School for Girls - supposedly a movie about a military school for girls, but really a film full of nude shower scenes.
  • Reform School Girls - supposedly a movie about wayward girls, but really a film full of nude shower scenes.
  • Revenge of the Cheerleaders - supposedly a movie about the horrors of a teen cheer camp, but really a film full of nude shower scenes.
  • Playboy's Roommates - supposedly a cautionary tale about herpes, but really a film full of nude shower scenes.
  • Savage Streets - supposedly a movie about gangbangers, but really a film full of nude shower scenes.
  • "Left For Dead" - supposedly a movie horror, Amazing.
  • Slammer Girls - supposedly a movie about a roller derby team, but really a film full of nude shower scenes.
  • Stripes - supposedly a movie about candy stripers, but really a film full of nude shower scenes.
  • Tomboy - supposedly a biography of Hillary Clinton, but really a film full of nude shower scenes.
  • Playboy's Women Behaving Badly - supposedly a memoir by concybines of Bill and Hillary Clinton, but really a film full of nude shower scenes.

Now you have a whole new venture about which to surf the web, looking for hot pics of the naked babes in this list of movies OR you could just look here (duh!): [1]