OMFuckinGodium

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Nothing <- OMFuckinGodium -> Parmeseanum
Daisium
^
OMFG
v
Nothing
File:OMFG-TableImage.png
General
Name OMFuckinGodium
Symbol OMFG
Number 76 trombones lead the big parade...
Kinkiness moderate to high
Physical Properties
Melting point 43.33333333333333 °C, or maybe 43.33333333333333 °F
Boiling point 2.718281828459045 °C, or maybe 2.718281828459045 °F
Taste DO NOT EAT
WTF level 6.4389562 x 10^67
Appearance Cannot be shown here, looks like Mohammed

OMFuckinGodium is an allergen on the Idiotic Table of the Elements. It is not to be confused with Watthefukium, an element with similar properties, but with significantly different purposes.

OMFuckinGodium is a naturally occurring element that exists in all human brains. Although it is an allergen, it normally does not cause allergic reactions in humans. However, a genetic disorder may cause allergic reactions, and is the 563th leading cause of death of infants. You should donate to the Cure the 563th Leading Cause of Infant Death Foundation to help find a cure for this tragic disease. Or else Dateline will do stories on it until kingdom come. Donate!! Higher presence of this element is referred to as Oh Ma Fa Ga syndrome. It causes a higher usage of useless internet acryonyms, and really bad acid trips. Really, really, really bad acid trips.

History[edit]

Oh Ma Fa Ga syndrome was not a recognized illness, and nor was the element of OMFuckinGodium, until the invention of the Internet by Al Gore. Overtime, cases have increased by 50% (compounded daily) since 1996. MIT performed a study in 2000 about the possible causes of Oh Ma Fa Ga syndrome and linked cases with increased use of the internet. Specifically with all those 'hipster' IM services these days. I would of thought AOL would of just died since their internet sucked so much... but that god damn AIM....

In 2003, Duke performed a privately-funded study, and after playing many games of Zork, researchers concluded the following:

  • Grues tend to kill you
  • Oh Ma Fa Ga occurs more in asian populations
  • That Numa Numa video gets extremely annoying

Oh Ma Fa Ga has taken the world largely by suprise, now appearing in children as young as 10. Analysts say that this will be the next big thing once bird flu, George W. Bush, and Oprah Winfrey go away. The last of which will never happen, so the most you'll ever see of this is some crappy 20/20 special.

Symptoms[edit]

Oh Ma Fa Ga syndrome must be treated with long-term therapy and counseling. First, the person must recognize they have the syndrome. They can be helped with this by their family, friends, and Jerry Springer. These are some typical symptoms:

  • Excessive use of AOL Instant Messenger or similar services
  • Use of internet acronyms in everyday talking, especially in formal dealings
  • Finding most things funny when they really aren't
  • Obsession to use large strings of internet acronyms in rapid succession while typing and speaking
  • Still playing EverQuest

If someone exhibits one or more of these symptoms, you should have them seek medical attention immediately. Remember that is never too early to start treatment, but you cannot wait until it is too late.

Treatment[edit]

There are three different treatment options avalible to suffers of Oh Ma Fa Ga syndrome.

  • Having the element extracted out of their brain
  • Taking medication to lower naturally occurring OMFuckinGodium production
  • Burning in hell

After the initial treatment, group counseling is recommended through an anonymous program. OMFG Anonymous (OMFGA) is the most widely acclaimed service, and recently signed a contract with Dr. Phil to allowing him to randomly pick people and make their condition not so anonymous anymore. Since, internet is the main cause of the illness, the sufferer must restrict his internet access and regularly check his OMFuckinGodium levels using an ear probe to ensure he is not receiving too much exposure. OMFGA is also planning a giant class-action lawsuit against Al Gore for inventing the internet. Although some don't think it will be successful, many think the jury will just make Gore pay up, because everyone knows Al Gore is boring. Who the hell would want to listen to him testify?

Future[edit]

There will be a perfectly good reason why the number of cases will increase by a daily compounded 50% for the next 5 years.

  • 2007 Usenet
  • 2008 Something Awful
  • 2009 It's just your mind playing tricks on you
  • 2010 Word shortage, had to use acronyms
  • 2011 Wow... This is strange... We'll study this for the next 25 years and get back to you.