Obsidian Order

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Cardassia's intelligence agency, the Obsidian Order, is an elite organization five centuries into its operation. The prime objectives of the Order is to amass information about enemy powers and sabotage any activity not favorable to the Cardassian government.

Such activities demand agents of the Order to be skilled in espionage, sabotage,and assassination. Another trait requisite of all agents is a smooth tongue, useful in delivering bald-faced lies with conviction. Shadowy and covert as the Order is, their agents do not cooperate with other branches of the government, almost always choosing to work alone. However, the talents of the operatives within the Order are quite considerable, with a single agent able to infiltrate and collapse a government into anarchy in short notice.

The Bush Administration[edit]

George W. Bush shown here in his true form, as a Cardasian.

Long ago in a parallel dimension far, far away, there was a fevered romance between the ruler of Bajor, Kia Win, and a ruthless cardasian outlaw know as Gul Dukat. This super evil duo was bent on the destruction of Sisko the emissary of all that is cool, bald and full of blackness.

Realizing that they could never beat him directly, they were force to travel back in time and prevent the Sisco and all that he stands for in a parallel timeline. In their utopian time line they traveled to mid-twentieth century earth, and disguised themselves as George Herbert Walker Bush and his wife Barbra.

They started and family and with them began planning the demise of the Emissary. The Dukats (aka the Bushes) were able to make a rise to power. George first becoming Vice President and later President of the United States was able to get a foothold on his grand plans to convert the US government to the new Obsidian Order.

He was, however, not cool enough to win out his second term against the saxophone wielding, nearly black, Bill Clinton.

The next eight years were spent planning the rise to power of his sons Jeb and George W. Despite his desire to have Jeb be his heir to the throne, Jeb was far to obvious in his hatred of all things cool, bald and black. The task then fell to his slightly retarded son, George.

George W.’s easy going nature, slight mental dullardry, and ability to combine any two words into a new cooler word helped him win over much of the country’s inbred populace. The race was still very tight, so Jeb was able to play his part by creating voter confusion in Florida, and thus ensuring victory to his brother.

Once in power, George W. was able to implement many of the practices of the Obsidian Order, using the attacks of 9/11 as his tool. The main areas of reform were as follows: