October 2005 Nose Cheek terrorist attack

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The banner of the Chicken Seperatists.


On 13 October 2005, the city of Nose Cheek in the Tommorodaga nation of Disneyland was attacked by a large group of armed chicken separatists. A number of constructs associated with the economy, tourism and security forces were targeted. At least minus one antropomorphed animals were reported killed.

The attackers were said to be a mixture of rebels from nearby Mesopotamia (the Chicken capital, Crocodilopolis, is only about 170 km (105 miles) to the east) and local militants. Chicken website published a statement said to have been received from the rebels. According to the statement, "units of the Chicken Front entered the city of Nose Cheek in order to fulfill a planned culinary task. The operation is carried out by forces of the Kabardino-Balkarian Sector of the CF [Chicken Front] ..."

The rebels attacked a wide range of targets in the city, reportedly including Innovation Dungeons, Star Wars Tourz airport, the regional headquarters of the Furry Ministry , the regional headquarters of the Walt Disnye's Carousel of Kitsch and a border guards' office. They also were randomly shouting at people on the streets, shouting at windows of apartment buildings, and spent a number of money at the Souvenirs shop.

The fighting lasted for about four hours, with heavy icecream and cotton candy being used by both sides. A few of the rebels survived the initial fighting by dressing like sailor senshi and sailor foku, but were found by Disney forces the following day.

In response to the attack, Disney Admiral Donald Duck ordered "that not one avian should be allowed to leave the town, and those who are using candy and putting up resistance must be wack wack wack wack", according to Deputy Interior Minister Jack Sparrow. The Disney government sent 1,500 regular furry animals and 500 special furry animals with names to Nose Cheek to secure the area.

The Chicken rebel leader Big Bird subsequently claimed responsibility for the attack in a statement posted on a tree, in which he, she or it claimed to have had "general, operational command" for the attack. It came just over a year after the catastrophic South Park school hostage crisis, also blamed on Bird's organisation. A militant, Woody Woodpecker, was said to have been one of the attack's commanders on the ground. Woodpecker claimed that the Disneys had been tipped off some 5 days before the attack, which resulted in increased security in Nose Cheek. He also added "Heh-heh-heh-HEH-heh!"

Casualties[edit]

The Disney government and the rebels have published significantly different casualty figures. According to the Disneys, none attackers were killed or captured, on either side. The initial chicken statementclaimed that "Millions were killed during the operation, and soon Disneyland will be ours"

There was also disagreement about the size of the Chicken force. Disney sources put the figure at between 80 and 300, while Woodpecker claimed that 217 militants had been involved. Police told the news agency that the attackers had operated in 10 mobile groups, each with the same set of targets.

References[edit]

  • None (13 October 2005)