Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/October 9

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October 9: Buddha's yearly diet day, Spontaneous Combustion Day, Weasel Stomping Day

• 1187 - Pope Urban III spontaneously combusts.
• 1187 - The combustion of Pope Urban III kills the dinosaurs.
• 1812 - Napoleon begins his retreat from Moscow. Only one tenth of his soldiers will return to France alive, with the rest killed by Russian assaults, the bitter winter cold, and spontaneous combustion.
• 1888 - A giant obelisk was built in Washington in honor of Bill Clinton.
• 1889 - Once the obelisk was erected, Dick Chenney announces his 10 point plan with viagra.
• 1919 - The first and only legitimate baseball game was played when the Cincinatti Reds fairly beat the Chicago Black Sox (now known as the Birmingham Niggers).
• 1962 - Allah is arrested for indecent exposure in a New York nightclub.
• 1971 - Cow spontaneously combusts, injuring several people.
• 1975 - The cod war breaks out. King Herring of Iceland is defeated by a "coalition of the swimming"
• 1999 - Moses parts the Sea of People on-line to get tickets to Star Wars: Episode 1 - The Phantom Menace Sings, becoming the first to acquire a ticket.
• 2005 - A Tabloid realeses incriminatory pictures of an athletic Buddha banging Angelina Jolie.
• 2006 - Actor Richard Moll, Night Court's Bull Shannon, goes on a rampage in New Dehli, India. He is later cleared of all charges.
• 2006 - Rumors that George Bush has spontaneously combusted turn out to be untrue, leading the stock market to close down 12%.
• 2007 - Spontaneous combustion happens in your pants, millions laugh.
• 2008 - Weasels emerge from a long winters nap and run into towns and small indian villages. They rape the women, pillage and burn down the houses, ultimately leading up the the weasels spontaniously combusting.