“In Soviet Russia, orange drinks JEW!!”
Orange Jews, a drink created by Hitler during the roaring 30's, is a complicated drink resembling wine. Or blood. More close to blood. A mixture of two parts Jew, one part alcohol (alkohol in German). Made the same way orange juice is made, essentially, by the squeezing of fresh Jews. Pulp, though not a huge choice of 'texture' people (gay men, transvestites veganarians and anorexic women, who all use this excuse to eat less), can add flavor and more variety to the orange Jews. It can also be made from concentrate, via concentration camps.
Picked fresh from trees only on months starting with J (January, June and July), Orange Jews can be created quickly and stored in bottles, similar to those used for canning jam, and hold their flavor and coloring for years.
The main reason why one would consider to drink Orange Jews is because it is said that after consuming a glass, your chances of winning the lottery increases(-2.34%). (yes thats a negative) So if you can manage to drink enough to get to -100%, then a wormhole will appear, leading you to were the Jews hid all their Jew Gold back in biblical times. This is a lot of gold we are talking about here. Hitler wanted this gold, and thats why it seemed like he hated the Jews, but really he just wanted to make Orange Jews to lead him to the cave filled with Jew Gold. To do this, Hitler needed lots and lots of Jews so he created concentration camps to gather up Jews and make orange Jews. But what Hitler did not know was that a Jew could not enter the cave this way, and since Hitler was 1/8th Jewish he could never enter. This angered him, so he did the only logical thing one could think of in a situation like this and he killed himself.
Another use of Orange Jews is make you very angry. Many people enjoy coming home after a hard day of work with a nice big glass, or even a bucket and beat the living shit out of their spouse's or children's asses. This is more of a side effect rather then an actual use because child and spouse abuse IS NOT funny and should be taken seriously, but it happens.
In pre-development, Orange Jews was also used as a sedative for young children during the 60's, but after government testing that showed a severe increase in AIDS, mainly affecting African American children drinking the orange Jews.
Modern day orange Jews
Luckily scientist managed to fix all the abusive problems with OJ by adding THC (found in marijuana) and now just use aborted Jewish babies as the main ingredient. Also it comes in many flavors, such as blackcurant jews and strawberry jews. Production has hit a all time high, popular with young and old. Unfortunately an Atheist named Tony Stark found the Jew Gold cave after drinking 1337 glasses. He later used the money he found to build a flying lump of scrap metal calledIron Man.
|This article has a good idea and concept, but isn't finished. You can do something about it.
a drink created by Hitler during the 30's. It's Orange juice silly!
--JCat007x 03:01, May 1, 2010 (UTC)