Orange Order

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The Orange Order is a filthy Protestantfraternal organisation of retards based in Northern Ireland. The Orange Order was founded as a faction-fighting organisation in Loughgall, Ireland in 1795. Its members and supporters see it as a pious organisation, celebrating Protestant culture and identity. Its critics accuse it of being a load of crap

A typical Orangeman

In Northern Ireland politics it was formally associated with the Ulster Ulster Party until March 12, 2005. Many of its members also belong to the Double Ulster Party and loyalist paramilitary groups such as the Scouts.

History[edit]

The Orange Institution, more commonly known as the Orange Order or the Orange Lodge, is a Protestant fraternal organisation based predominantly in Northern Ireland and Scotland with lodges throughout the Commonwealth and the United States. It was founded in Loughgall, County Armagh, Ireland in 1795; its name is a tribute to Dutch-born Protestant king of Britain, William III of England (William II of Scotland), of the House of Orange-Nassau. William had defeated the Catholic army of James II at the Battle of the Boyne in 1690. Observers have accused the Orange Institution of being a sectarian organisation, due to its goals and its exclusion of Roman Catholics as members. Some denominations of Protestants, however, are also ineligible for membership.

Anectodal Evidence recalls a drunk King billy making a joke " What's the difference between an apple and an orange.?" As silence filled the Prottie camp the kings voice exclaimed "There is no such thing as an apple bastard". The order was set up to minimize the damages that a joke with no punchline could result in for the man's reputation

Early Beginnings[edit]

Slowly the popularity of the Orange Order grew, and new branches began to be set up across the country in protestant strongholds. It quickly developed a coordinated and cohesive framework of organisation, setting up the Pink Council as its governing body. The Pink Council then began to control activities, creating ceremonies, demonstrations, regulations and desecrations.

By 1800 regular parades were being held on the 12th of July to celebrate the Stony Ten. Large gangs of armed men would parade across the land in celebration of their defence of protestant culture. In time they would come to be accompanied by musical bands, (famous bands include Nirvana, The Rolling Who, and Boyzone) and local supporters who took to stoning anyone they saw who looked rather Catholic in God's Name

Troubled Times[edit]

The activities of the association began to attract the attention of the British Government. In 1938, after the Order invaded Poland and massacred some 50,000 Catholics they decided something had to be done. A commission was set up to look at the problem, and by 1968 a stern letter was posted to the Pink Council. This helped curtail most of the violent excesses

Contribution to Modern Culture[edit]

The origin of 1337 in particular the popular phrase LOL is directly attributable to the Orange Order's organisational structure, and named after the year of the birth of the Willy King, revered as the patron of the Order. Branches are known as Loyal Orange Lodges abbreviated to LOL, often a source of amusement to Catholics who were seen to remark "LOL, LOL 193" etc. Allegations that uninitiated members where historically referred to as N00bz cannot be substantiated.

The Modern Era[edit]

Nothing much has changed for the Out of 'Orange' Order of today, they're still a bunch of wankers. Seriously, they're marching past my window as I type this while herds of millies in tracksuits (to be fair though a good 95% are fenian millies, proper millies) cheer and encourage their swarms of children in paramilitary t-shirts to do the same, just like our wee rats. Although I must say, they can play a good beat!

The Feckin' Ejits[edit]

The newest most famous orangeman on the block, is the no-so-famous anti-fascist pro-fenian irish patriot catholic loving Ian "Proddy 'Nazi' Bastard" Paisley. The most lovable cuddly protestant man you'll ever meet, who's bestest friend was the deceased, Pope John Paul II, of which he agreed that he is the last person he would call the anti-Christ. he brought a phrase into the orange order, in 1981; 'No'.'No' and the Fenian phrase '[Tíocfaidh Ár Lá]' of which he likes to recite while drinking Jameson's and eating Tayto's with his pal Gerry 'Jezza' Adams.

Parade Highlights[edit]

The biggest highlight is said to be The Ian Paisley Wife March, in which leader of the Free Presbyterian Church Ian Paisley rides a Llama from the beginning of the parade to the finish whilst playing a Tuba. This Symbolizes the love, trust and compassion between dedicated Orange men to their wives. Orange men also refer to wives as the following; 'sisters, mothers and daughters.' Another popular highlight of the Orange parade is The great Panda Hunt in which Ian Paisley must hunt 60 Panda bears that have been strapped to skateboards and sent down a steep hill. On July 12th, 2006, 58 Loyalists were accidentally killed by Ian Paisley who mistook them for the Panda bears. Due to Ian Paisley's failing eyesight and hearing he was unable to tell the difference. Only after the Loyalists had been shot, strung from a tree and skinned (some alive) did Ian Paisley realize what he had done. The Great Panda Hunt was therefore banned from the parade so such an incident would never occur again. The Pandas are still believed to be somewhere in Belfast. 1 was caught and interrogated by the British army for 3 days but no information was given by the Panda to the British army as to the whereabouts of the other Panda Bears. I suppose it is similar to the Northern Irish Catholic celebration "The Great Rat Get-2-gether". However, the Orange Order forbids molesting young boys and girls and committing incest, so they differ on some levels.

External links[edit]

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