Organism

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An Orgasm is a moment of intense pleasure that usually follows either sexual intercourse (in men) or chocolate consumption (in women). It is characterized by moaning, hip thrashing, and extra hair growth along the chin.

History[edit]

The first orgasm was detected in 1984 by Julia Orwell, the wife and pig of a well known American author. It was rumored that it lasted for over 30 minutes, although such cases in present time are only found in Neverland and remote third world countries.

The second known occurrence wasn't until 1995, when Pamela Anderson Lee debuted her first short adult film, "Oh Holy Mounds". This is also the first documented case of a "multiple" orgasm.

Controversy[edit]

Recent members of an unnamed religious cult have picketed against orgasms during marriage. Somewhat perpendicular to the Christian view of sex before marriage, the no orgasm rule has been touted as the holy grail solution to the tortures and bindings of marriage. crazy.

Pros and Cons[edit]

Orgasms have both advantages and disadvantages in today's society.

The Good[edit]

  1. Increased Blood Flow to the Heart (thus lowering bad cholesterol)
  2. Increased chin stubble
  3. Has been shown to solve world hunger
  4. Has been shown to uphold peace
  5. Has actually been proven to give beauty pageant contestants talent

The Bad[edit]

  1. It makes you sweat
  2. Increased chin stubble (bad news for women)
  3. It makes you pee
  4. The uncontrollable urge to hug a duck

The Ugly[edit]

  1. Liza Minelli
  2. That guy from Mr. Bean

Those "Other" Orgasms"[edit]

Similarly, orgasms also reference lifeforms that have more than one cell. This, however, has yet to be confirmed by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA).

Cure for the Common Cold?[edit]

Preliminary testing (on convicts only, due to the PETA's strict rules against laboratory testing on animals) have shown these kinds of orgasms to be promising against the common cold. Without FDA approval, however, organisms can only be found in black (and flea) markets.

A spokesman for the "Org Org," a national orgasm organization, is very comfortable that a hasty and incomplete approval is well on its way, "if our history with the FDA is any indication."